(Closed) Should I be offended that my friend is not using my makeup artist?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 46
1773 posts
Buzzing bee

I have this worry, too! so I decided not to have any bridesmaids at all- I can’t trust anyone to have their hair+makeup perfect and I don’t want them spoiling my expensive wedding photos. This is YOUR wedding and nobody cares as much as you do, it’s sad but very true. They don’t have to look at your wedding photos the rest of their lives, you do.

Post # 47
2449 posts
Buzzing bee

If you’re going to be distressed that she chose an option that she was offered by you, why did you offer the option?

Post # 48
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

WanderingPeace:  I definitely wouldn’t worry about it. I don’t like having my makeup done professionally because it’s generally just an uncomfortable experience for me. I don’t like to wear a lot of makeup, and I find that makeup artists in the past have just layered junk on my face and made me feel like “not me” (I can achieve the same coverage with much less product). Also anything with another person applying eye makeup to me never goes well, I’m just super sensitive in the eye area haha. She may feel similarly.

Post # 49
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

yupmarried:  haha what? I assume you are being sarcastic….

Post # 50
1 posts

WanderingPeace:   I was recently asked to be in a wedding by a woman I have known for about 15 years.  I politely declined because I knew she would be hysterical and petty over every detail.  I tend to avoid drama.  There are so many SERIOUS things to worry about in our adult lives, and makeup is just not one of them.  You will be remembered for your graciousness and diplomacy during your wedding, and for your attention to the comfort of others  You’ll want your wedding to be memorable for you and your family for all the right reasons.  If you are a spiritual person, perhaps some spiritual guidance will help calm you and keep you focused on the big picture.  If not, maybe a few sessions with a professional therapist or counselor will help.  People will know if you are trying to “hold in” anger or frustration.  It’s always best to discover and understand WHY you are feeling anxious and preoccupied with another woman’s makeup.

Post # 51
242 posts
Helper bee

I’ve gotten my make up done for a wedding before..if given the option I would opt out. I didn’t like the job done and I can do it better myself. 


Don’t be offended.

Post # 52
1214 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I personally like how I do my own make-up, and I wouldn’t trust an artist on my day. Partly because I wear make-up regularly and I grew up with my mom owning an Aveda salon. Maybe not trusting is the wrong term, because I totally trust make-up artists to do fab jobs. But I know the look I’m going for and I can do it myself. And I use quality make-up that won’t come off. For a night out on the town, I love an artist for sure! And for brides and bm’s who don’t wear make-up regularly or do a terrible job, they need an artist. But it’s not for everybody. I’d just let it go. As long as she’s not doing her own hair and you like how she wears her make-up, don’t be worried.

Post # 53
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I had my makeup done when I was the Maid/Matron of Honor in my friend’s wedding. The bride had her hair/makeup done first and looked stunning. All four BMs got their hair/makeup done after, and ALL of us didn’t look half as good as the bride. I had exact photos of what I wanted, and it was just very meh. We were all in the bathroom fixing it when she left. For the next wedding, the bride didn’t offer an artist, but I would have declined simply because I felt like I could do a better job myself, AND because between those two points, my financial situation changed. No reason to ask. 

Post # 54
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

WanderingPeace:  I think you should just ask your friend. I get where you’re coming from – we know our closest friends so well that sometimes you just get a hunch as to their reason for doing or not doing something. I see no harm in asking, but keep in mind that she might not be truthful. In the end, don’t stress over it, she’s still going to be there for you on your big day and you have much bigger things to take care of for the wedding.

Post # 55
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Absolutely not.  There are been years I have been a lot more financially well off than others.  The economy changes so fast, as does life and expenses, so I wouldn’t judge her for that.  

To be honest, regardless of how great your makeup artist is I would probably do my own as a bridesmaids.  I wouldn’t want to spend the money when I know I can do makeup just as well and I have very sensitive skin.  Maybe your bridesmaid didn’t like her makeup at the last wedding and didn’t want to chance getting it done by someone else again.  

To be honest, it really doesn’t matter.  I gave my girls the option and only one girl who doesn’t typically wear makeup opted to get hers done professionally.  Both in real life and in the pictures you could never tell which girl that was (they did an amazing job, but my other girls were great at makeup hence why they didn’t get theirs done at the salon).  

Whether it is economic reasons or personal preference, I think the decision was personal and not to hurt you AT ALL.

Post # 56
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

WanderingPeace:  Umm no.  You should not be offended.  Get over it.

Post # 57
12678 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’ve opted to do my own makeup or go to my own MUA rather than the one suggested by the bride. TBH there are many MUAs, maybe the majority, I wouldn’t go near with a ten foot pole. On your part,  all it is is  a convenient offer, and even if you were paying, she’d have zero obligation to get it done by your person. 

It could be any of the reasons mentioned by PPs. The truth is, it’s none of your business at all. 

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