Post # 1
My youngest niece is getting married around Christmas. She has asked me to host her bridal shower because I have a party room and her BMs and Maid/Matron of Honor don’t, and they don’t have a lot of money. I said OK. Her fiance isn’t having a bachelor party I guess. But I just found out that she is having a bachelorette party and I wasn’t invited. I’m single and am no fuddy-duddy. We’re about 16 years apart. She’s having it the evening of the shower. Should I be ticked off that I wasn’t invited? I feel used actually.
Post # 3
I would feel the same way. But look at it this way; maybe none of the older family members of hers were invited. To a 21 year old a 16 year gap will seem like a lot (I don’t know how old she is I’m just using 21 as an example). Also, maybe she will be embarassed to go nuts/eat penis suckers/whipped cream off of a stripper with you there. IDK if that’s what she’s planning but if that is it….I sort of understand her reasoning. Plus she is probably viewing the shower as a ‘pre’ bach party for her, and then her and just her girlfriends are going to do whatever wilder thing they have planned later.
Post # 4
Oh my. I think I would feel the same way you do. Noelle-a-belle might have a point with the age gap and your niece feeling a little odd or uncomfortable no matter how hip of an aunt you are. I can understand how you would feel used with her asking you to host the shower and then, ‘See ya, we’re off to the party!’ Is the shower soon? Are you positive you’re not invited?
Post # 5
I would be offended especially because they will be probably talking about the night at the party because they will be excited – I would feel used also!!!!
Post # 6
Yeah… I’d be offended to. Can you gently bring up the subject of the bachelorette party with her?
Post # 7
Maybe she assumes you will just join and didn’t feel the need to issue a formal invitation? Just trying to give the benefit of the doubt. Yes, though. Otherwise, I would be pretty irritated. I would mention it to your sibling (her parent) and let them let her know it is rude.
Post # 8
I would be offended too. But I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt you. If you bring it up I’m sure she’ll realize it and throw ya on the guest list.
Post # 9
Do you normally go out partying with her?
Post # 10
I’d be upset too…I’d let her know how you feel though. Personally, I don’t know why she asked you to host a party for her anyways. Isn’t that bad manners? I can see where a 16 year gap could make her uncomfortable, but she shoulda though of that before asking you to host the other party.
Post # 11
She’s 24 and I know I’m not invited. I don’t think they’re the type to bring out the penis suckers, but you never know. I’ll assume it’s going to be a whole group of 20+ year-olds and they would feel odd with someone older in the crowd. I’ll have to let this one pass – and hopefully no one will bring it up at the bridal shower. The only reason I found out was because I was CC’d on an email about the bridal shower and one girl mentioned the party – hmmm.
Post # 12
I get what you’re saying, but it depends on who’s in the bach event. Is it just her bm’s? My sister in law and mother in law hosted a shower for me and I didn’t invite them to my bachelorette party that night, even tho they knew I was going. My SIL is 4 years older than me, but also was like, 7 months preggo. I just *assumed* they wouldn’t want to come to a “typical” bachelorette party. Is it the case with your niece? I can’t imagine asking someone to host a party at their house, though, and then jet off to another one. She’s your niece–just ask her why you weren’t included. I bet there’s a good reason
Post # 13
I would be a little hurt if I wasn’t asked, especially since you’re doing a lot for her already. But do you know if someone else is throwing the bachelorette party for her, maybe they didn’t think to add you?! But its true she still should have extended the invitation!
Post # 14
I think this is probably more of an oversight by her BMs or whoever is hosting the bachelorette party. They probably didn’t think it was a) appropriate to invite you after you’re hosting a beautiful bridal shower or b) you wouldn’t be interested in attending.
Had you expressed a desire to go to her bachelorette party to anyone before the plans were made? I have a couple awesome, young aunts- but unless they told me they wanted to go I probably wouldn’t think to invite them either!
If this upsets you that much, I really think you should just talk to her 🙂
Post # 15
You said there is a 16 year gap? So she is 24 and you’re 40? Honestly, and I hope I don’t offend you, I’m 24 myself and I would never in a MILLION years think to invite my 40 year old aunt. I just wouldn’t think she would WANT to come. My friends and I are WILD, and I really wouldn’t want anyone there who might not understand us and our partying ways, you know?
I’d try to take the high road and be gracious about it. I wouldn’t ask her about it, because its possible she isn’t the one planning it– her BMs are. Do you really want to be out with a bunch of 24 year old girls until 3 AM at a strip club? If so, you’re a way cooler aunt than any that I have.
My guess is just that she doesn’t associate you with that type of partying. It doesn’t necessarily mean she is ungrateful, just unaware. I feel for her, because it wouldn’t occur to me to invite you either, given that you two don’t often go out together.
Post # 16
I think that I would feel that way too. Could it just be that with the age difference, she doesn’t realize how rude that is? Or maybe she’s not in charge of it and the person that is in charge is also clueless?