(Closed) Should I be upset?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Your day is your day. You can’t make it mean something to anyone else…and you can’t make it your month, your year, etc, as much as we would all like to! Really, your sister SHOULD NOT be doing this to you. She should give you some time before they marry, but all you can do is rise above it and be gracious. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I’m getting married a month before my friend and a month after my coworker. Unfortunately, thats the only time that worked for me. We travel together a lot and people ask us both about our weddings. I don’t think she is resentful of me at all. I also go out of my way to make sure we discuss HER wedding and I help her find ideas and that sort of thing.

I think the biggest part of making this either great or a hellish experience is your attitude. My friend and I have been dress shopping together twice now. It has been a blast! I have friends who are closer to me, but I would rather go with her. It can be boring to sit and wait 5-10 minutes between every dress (It takes time to get in those suckers!), Plus this way I have another honest opinion, and I get to share her experience with dress shopping as well.

It is great having someone else go through all the experiences at the same time and help me out. Maybe you can try looking at it that way.

Post # 5
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think you should try not to be upset. She’s getting engaged too and should not have to wait until X amount of time has passed before she plans for her wedding to be. Your day will still be your special time and she can’t steal that day from you. I would hope she would not try to steal your thunder on your special day but it’s not like she’s planning it the next weekend.

You might even find it nice to have a someone to share ideas with who is planning for the same season and things.

Post # 6
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think since neither of you are even engaged yet, getting very upset about this stuff is just a waste of energy and emotion.

A month before or a month after is fine. It would be fun to plan your weddings together too.

Post # 8
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My husband’s brother got married 2 weeks after us.  It worked out fine.  I wouldn’t worry about it – especially with a lot still up the air (neither of you are engaged quite yet). 

Post # 9
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I understand why you would be upset but just try to see the postives. You can plan together and bounce ideas off eachother. You should be happy for her that she has found someone that she wants to spend the rest of her life with.  It might not even happen or it might end up workign out perfectly. Dont be upset with something that hasn’t even happened yet.

Post # 10
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I’m going to repeat the Weddingbee mantra:  You get a day.  Enjoy it, cherish it, relish it, because that’s it.  One day.  The only way your cousin could be stealing your thunder is if she decided to get married on the same day.  Let this go, she hasn’t done anything wrong.

Post # 11
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Totally agree with these tidbits:

Dont be upset with something that hasn’t even happened yet. –You’ll stress yourself out for no reason.

and this

The only way your cousin could be stealing your thunder is if she decided to get married on the same day.

Post # 12
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I agree with Ms MamaBear and Bailzoe. Don’t worry about it, neither of you are engaged yet.

Ane it WILL be fun to have someone to go through the planning frenzy with!

Post # 13
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If you want all the attention, then book church and reception hall and send out Save The Dates.  That way you will get ALL the attention now before the cousin can steal the thunder.

Post # 15
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

A month is a long time before (or after). I really think it’s a non-issue. The concept of thunder-stealing does not apply given your timeframe.

Post # 16
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@diva81esq:

But, who doesn’t want their day and the process to be all about them?  Part of your comment is exactly what I’m trying to avoid…it’s not about who’s first, I don’t want this to be a competition and I DON’T want family (esp those from out of town) to have to pick and choose which ceremony they’ll attend or be offended if they are/aren’t invited to one or the other…all of these things are out of my hands, but will be more obvious and more touchy with ceremonies so close to each other.

Easy there, bridezilla 😉  First off, neither of you are even engaged yet, so this whole thing is a bit premature.  Secondly, they’re going to be a month apart.  That’s a long time.  No one is going to have to choose between your two weddings unless they have a “one wedding we can attend every six months” rule.  Your day is still going to be all about you because that’s what it is: a day.  Not a week, not a month (even if it were, she’s getting married a month after you so you’re still fine.)

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