(Closed) should i be upset ?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@natstella: I understand how this can upset you and its a bit weird to me, I know I would feel upset about it, but the thing is, and this has been said sooooo many times, as a bride we only get one day, not a week,month or year, one day, that is ours ๐Ÿ™‚ this fact made me think and I think it might mean something to you to. Do not let this friend spoil your day!!!!! Be the better person about this!

Post # 4
11390 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Ah that would prob upset any bride to know you have had your venue booked for that long and now she wants the same place and wants to have it BEFORE yours. But I’m sure your friends know you already booked it first. And hey just let it go, and make the best of YOUR day ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I know this isn’t helpful, but my FI’s cousin planned his wedding “reception” (after a private Destination Wedding in Hawaii) for the same date as our wedding…in a different state!


I’m still working on that one, hoping they’ll actually change their date (they picked theirs MONTHS after we sent our Save-The-Date Cards, and haven’t planned anything, while our wedding is completely planned). In the long run, it won’t matter much, only a couple family members will go to that over ours, but sheesh.


So, I guess, at least it’s not that bad?? (Not helpful, I know). I would be upset, too, especially with booking the same venue, but with your decorating and other choices, I’m sure they’ll seem very different locations to any guests who go to both, even if they’re in the same place.

Post # 6
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

This seems really weird to me. Is she trying to upstage you? I can see maybe if you guys live in a small town and there are only one or two venues, but if not then this is totally rude. I would talk to her again and just come from a really sweet genuine place and say something like, “I know this is a great venue, but I picked it before you and it would really mean a lot if you could let this place be the special one for me.”

Maybe try to point out to her that you think it will make your friends compare your two weddings when really everyone should remember your weddings as two separate special events. If you come from this angle instead of making it just about you hopefully she will see the light!

Good luck ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

One piece of advice that might actually help: When/if you decide to talk to her again (and I think west.coast.blonde has good advice about that approach), maybe offer to go to some of the venues with her, or offer alternatives you looked at. She could be really overwhelmed and just want to be done, so choosing this venue was easier for her than doing her own research. Maybe an offer to help would be appreciated? (You know her and I don’t, so this might not work, but it’s a thought!)

Post # 8
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

As a Bride that would suck. As a friend I’d be pissed, and probably wouldn’t attend her wedding. And thats just me being honest. Thats just straight up conniving!

Post # 9
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If she doesn’t change her venue then you can go to her wedding and see what NOT to do at yours and learn from her mistakes ๐Ÿ™‚  Good luck!!

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