Post # 1
Member
11 posts
Newbee
One of my close friends has been engaged for 3 years and me for 2. My weddings been planned and booked for nearly a year now and she’s been putting hers off for ages making excuses but all of a sudden decides to have her wedding reception three weeks before mine at the same place! I tried to talk to her about it before she pays a deposit ( she says she has already booked but she hasn’t technically until she pays a deposit ) and she gets defensive and makes me feel mean. Does anyone think I have a right to be upset we have the same circle of friends and I think two weddings withing three weeks is going to be a bit much. I mean I can’t really afford to go to her hens night or buy her a really nice gift three weeks before my wedding which also makes me a bit upset. I really don’t know what to think as she doesn’t understand what the problem is 🙁
Post # 3
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
@natstella: I understand how this can upset you and its a bit weird to me, I know I would feel upset about it, but the thing is, and this has been said sooooo many times, as a bride we only get one day, not a week,month or year, one day, that is ours 🙂 this fact made me think and I think it might mean something to you to. Do not let this friend spoil your day!!!!! Be the better person about this!
Post # 4
Member
11394 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Ah that would prob upset any bride to know you have had your venue booked for that long and now she wants the same place and wants to have it BEFORE yours. But I’m sure your friends know you already booked it first. And hey just let it go, and make the best of YOUR day 🙂
Post # 5
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
I know this isn’t helpful, but my FI’s cousin planned his wedding “reception” (after a private Destination Wedding in Hawaii) for the same date as our wedding…in a different state!
I’m still working on that one, hoping they’ll actually change their date (they picked theirs MONTHS after we sent our Save-The-Date Cards, and haven’t planned anything, while our wedding is completely planned). In the long run, it won’t matter much, only a couple family members will go to that over ours, but sheesh.
So, I guess, at least it’s not that bad?? (Not helpful, I know). I would be upset, too, especially with booking the same venue, but with your decorating and other choices, I’m sure they’ll seem very different locations to any guests who go to both, even if they’re in the same place.
Post # 6
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
This seems really weird to me. Is she trying to upstage you? I can see maybe if you guys live in a small town and there are only one or two venues, but if not then this is totally rude. I would talk to her again and just come from a really sweet genuine place and say something like, “I know this is a great venue, but I picked it before you and it would really mean a lot if you could let this place be the special one for me.”
Maybe try to point out to her that you think it will make your friends compare your two weddings when really everyone should remember your weddings as two separate special events. If you come from this angle instead of making it just about you hopefully she will see the light!
Good luck 🙂
Post # 7
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
One piece of advice that might actually help: When/if you decide to talk to her again (and I think west.coast.blonde has good advice about that approach), maybe offer to go to some of the venues with her, or offer alternatives you looked at. She could be really overwhelmed and just want to be done, so choosing this venue was easier for her than doing her own research. Maybe an offer to help would be appreciated? (You know her and I don’t, so this might not work, but it’s a thought!)
Post # 8
Member
3364 posts
Sugar bee
As a Bride that would suck. As a friend I’d be pissed, and probably wouldn’t attend her wedding. And thats just me being honest. Thats just straight up conniving!
Post # 9
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
If she doesn’t change her venue then you can go to her wedding and see what NOT to do at yours and learn from her mistakes 🙂 Good luck!!
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