(Closed) Should I be upset? Sister-in-Law issue

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 17
1086 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I second what huckleberry says! Great advice. If you do ANYTHING or talk to her about it, it will just bring more attention to her (which is what she wants). Don’t give into it. Let her suffer by just letting it roll off your back. Don’t let her ruin your day 😉

Post # 18
13563 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I can’t believe that. I’d like to say she’s ignorant, but because she made that comment to you, she obviously knew just what she was doing. It’s mean, and I don’t understand why she would do that to you.

Post # 19
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Boy that sucks.  It’s one thing to do it but another to actually bring it up before hand.  That shows more than ignorance.  About your Christmas card – I would worry too much.  It sucks but any female that receives the card is going to be laughing at her.

Post # 20
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

I wouldn’t say anything to her bc otherwise she has “won”, but I would have her dress colored in, even for your Mother-In-Law, bc then you won’t have to stare at her photo of her white dress in the family photo that your Mother-In-Law might hang on the wall for years.  I’d love to see the look on her face, when she sees it on the wall – all colored in, bc she it obviously was trying to steal your thunder.  I wouldn’t trust her in the future either.

Post # 21
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Thats such a great  idea coloring the dress in! That’ll irritate her when she sees it but she wont be able to complain because it woulddef make her look foolish!

Post # 22
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would def color in the dress! Great idea!!!



Post # 23
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yeah what did other people say about it?  (In your family/friends)  Do they think she was crazy for doing it?  I’m sure they’d all side with you.  It’s def. a very “WTF!  O_o” kinda thing!!

Post # 24
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I recently went to a friends wedding were 3 girls (not one or two but 3) wore white! i was soooo angry for her I wanted to drop my glass of cola on each and every one of them. Later after her wedding we talked about it and she said oh man yes i saw them how crazy! but she didnt dwell on it. of course it wasnt immediate family but i was glad she wasnt upset just brushed it off.

Now with that being sad I am not a kind person like that when it comes to My wedding. (yes i said my and now ours lol) MY FI will be on the look out for anyone wearing white and he said he will personally escort anyone that tries to steal my thunder! God bless his heart! he is also much kinder than me… i would THROW them out.

Post # 25
1206 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I sooo love the colored dress idea.  I would have the photogs color it in and leave it at that.  The only thing I would be worried about, but if she says anything, I would act like that’s the color I thought she wore.

Post # 26
923 posts
Busy bee

I would feel the same way that you are now if this happened to me. I wouldn’t want to be hurt by it, but I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it for a while. Especially since she’s in the photos so it’s a constant reminder.

It may sound silly but i worry about this with my wedding. And not just with the guests really, because if one of them wore white I wouldn’t care too much because they wouldn’t be in many photos. But I’m worried my Future Mother-In-Law will do something like this to try and steal attention or to hurt me. She’s had it out for me since day one, but i don’t want to stir up any family drama.

Maybe you can talk to your husband about it and just getting it off your chest will help you feel better. Talking to your SIL about it might be a little risky. And it’s over and done with now so it wouldn’t change anything. I also like the idea of another bee who suggested having the photographer color her dress. Or maybe you can have all the pics with her in it made black and white or a sepia tone. then it won’t be as overt as the coloring thing.

Post # 27
2640 posts
Sugar bee

Since you said you two normally get along “really well”, and that she can be sarcastic, I can’t help but think that her telling you about wearing white, seems really strange.  Like it doesn’t all add up. 

Do you know of a reason why she’d want to steal your thunder?  Is she jealous?  (Again, you said you get along….)  Has she been acting crazy?   If not, there might be another story here.

I’m also curious like some pps, about how bride-ish the dress looked. 

If you two are normally pals, I’d be wondering if she was someone who believes that a simple white dress that is clearly non bridal is perfectly fine.  And agree that in saying what she did, she was trying to gauge your response. 

Some wedding experts are saying that guests wearing white isn’t a big deal these days.  (That it’s more the type of dress -anything that grabs attention away from the bride, regardless of color that’s a problem. Too slutty, too formal, etc.)  So maybe she thought she was fine, and feels like some wedding etiquette is outdated.


Post # 29
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Be ready for sh*t to hit the fan when you SIL sees the photoshopped picture. I would just let it be. 5 years from now, no one will remember the Christmas card anyways. I’m sure it’s obvious that you are the bride in the picture anyways. I say just let it go to keep the peace.

Post # 30
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You should take one of the pictures and make it into a Christmas card for your Mother-In-Law. Then you get to choose the background and what the card is going to look like. Present it as a little gift to her.

I also wouldnt change the color of the dress for you own pictures. Since you said you two got along great over the weekend this may present problems later on in your relationship. Be honest with her next time you two chat just let her know that you love that you have a great relationship with her but your feelings were hurt when she said those words to you and then wore a white dress. Once you get it off your chest you two can move on and form a stronger bond.

Post # 31
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Who the hell wears white to a wedding where they are not the bride?  My Future Sister-In-Law would probbaly pull crap like that too if she wasn’t a bridesmaid and is wearing what I tell her to wear!!

Even though she stood out in pictures, I guarantee everyone with an ounce of sense and etiquette wondered what the hell she was doing.

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