(Closed) Should I be upset that no one’s paying attention to our engagement?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I do not think you should be upset, people have said congratualtions to me in passing, but did not get overly excited until the actual wedding day was coming around.

Post # 5
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

 

mindyfaith (message)    March 9, 2013   Big Indian, NY

I’m feeling a bit hurt. I got engaged to the love of my life (and boyfriend of eight years) in December. We’ve only received one, (very belated) “happy engagement” card, and even after doing most of the wedding planning (i.e. we’ve picked out and told our bridal party, and we’ve set a date a venue etc…) we’ve still not received much fanfare.  Is it just me, or are people too self involved to notice? I’m thinking maybe people just don’t know bridal protocol. I’m estranged from my immediate family, and we recently moved away from his family (four hours away) so I could go to law school, so I wasn’t expecting anything big, but at least a few more cards?  I just hear of all of this fuss being made over other brides. I’m not that old (26 & he’s 27). It’s our first marriage (for each of us) and we have no children. I think I could accept the lack of fanfare if one of those things weren’t the case, only because their would have been fanfare otherwise, but I’m just not sure how to process this.  One of my friends who got engaged after me, already had her bridal shower! What do you guys think? Am I being silly/oversensitive…the last thing I want to do is turn into bridezilla, but I’m excited for my wedding and I want others to be excited for me!

 

 

No one will ever be as excited about/interested in your wedding as you are.

Most people don’t send out cards for holidays or birthdays anymore – getting even one engagement card is good. 

I don’t think there’s any “bridal protocol” that covers how people should respond to an engagement or upcoming wedding.

Post # 6
Member
788 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@GroovyHippieChick:  THIS!

As excited as we are about our engagement, its OUR engagement. My friends are happy, but they all have things going on in their lives, too. Accept the well wishes and enjoy being engaged to your sweetie. The fanfare will come with the wedding 😉

Post # 7
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@mindyfaith:  maybe it’s because you have been together for so long, in their eyes you are already married. (if that makes sense)

Post # 8
Member
14560 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I dont think I got a single card except maybe from his parents.  I got a bunch of congrats texts and facebook messages.  No one is going to be nearly as excited as you are…. thats just the reality. 

Post # 9
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

i would have expected more cards, we got a fair few or them. but i agree with MichiganBride2012, no one else is as excited about your wedding day than you 2 are.

dont let it get to you, carry on in your own little bubble, and dont let anyone burst it!

Post # 10
Member
788 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@lyns86stc:  This is so true. We were together for 8.5 years before we got engaged – instead of congratulatory messages, I mostly got… “Well its about damn time!” lol.

Post # 11
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I was surprised by the fanfare, but I have to say, most of the cards/presents came from immediate family (if we didn’t have an engagement party, albeit with gifts discouraged, I doubt we would have any presents from friends).  I don’t think I would have gotten the cards that I did from a few friends if I wasn’t older so people “learned” to send them.  Honestly, to me 26/27 is still young – if your friends aren’t already married they may not consider it a big deal.  (Other than verbal congrats, I did not celebrate my friends engagements.)

Post # 12
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am not aware of anyone who has put on a whole lot of fanfare for someone else’s engagement – other than in the movies!  No one will be anywhere as excited as you two will be. 

Post # 13
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

There will be a lot more attention focused on you once your wedding is a bit closer — I promise!

Post # 14
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@leeshabee:  My Fiance and I have been together for almost 4 years and when he proposed after 3.5 years, that’s exactly the type of responses we got. We bought our house 3 years ago though and I think people expected our engagement to be soon after we moved into our house.

Post # 15
Member
788 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@lyns86stc:  Honestly, I can’t say that I was that surprised… its felt like we are practically married for a long time anyway. Still, it was funny to us 😉

The topic ‘Should I be upset that no one’s paying attention to our engagement?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors