(Closed) Should I bother sending a gift?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

they sound pretty inconsiderate , I personally wouldn’t bother sending a gift but maybe a card saying congrats and that’s about it! Don’t stoop to their level and send a text be the better person! 

Post # 3
Member
8070 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Ouch that is rough. 

I would send a nice card…definitely no gift. 

Post # 4
Member
2916 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I would send a card to congratulate them and nothing else. They seem like exceptionally poor planners. I’m sure you’re not the only ones who will be losing money due to their thoughtlessness. 

Post # 5
Member
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

View original reply
everythingpink :  Nice card, no gift. How inconsiderate of them and frustrating for you. 

Post # 6
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Definitely no gift. A card is up to you…I would make that decision based on how petty I was feeling that day. Did they even apologize for all of this hassle? If not…boy bye. 

Post # 8
Member
3247 posts
Sugar bee

I’d send a card and not think about it anymore. 

How rude. 

Post # 9
Member
1454 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

View original reply
everythingpink :  do not send them a gift. If they ask (which they won’t), tell them funds were reallocated elsewhere but you wish them all the best!

Post # 10
Member
1060 posts
Bumble bee

I think a card is sufficient since you’re out $400. Unless you normally gift over $400, I wouldn’t bother. 

Post # 12
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

That was very inconsiderate of them. I’d say just mail a card, no gift!

Post # 13
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I wouldn’t send a gift for sure and I’d also be fuming! Id  have to make a point of letting them know that their decision had cost me money too.They may assume you hadn’t spent anything yet so I’d deffo be putting that straight. Anyone half decent would apologise and reimburse you 

Post # 14
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

View original reply
everythingpink :  OMG NO. So the groom didn’t bother to tell one of his groomsmen that they were changing all of this? I would be beside myself. If it were me (mind you, I’m an asshole), I would not send anything, not even an acknowledgment of their marriage. 

Post # 15
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t know. I see why you are mad. What does your husband think about this?

On the other hand, his friend made the effort to fly to your husbands bachelor and your wedding? And I assume he gave you a wedding gift? 

When you think about it, if the friend had gone ahead with the wedding you were expecting, you’d be “out” that airfare anyway since you would be flying to attend right?

I think not sending a gift in this case will nuke the friendship. If your husband wishes to remain friends, I’d opt for a card and gift. But I would also encourage him to speak to his friend and explain the disappointment and financial impact of the non-refundable airfare.

If this friend has a history of being thoughtless and inconsiderate, and your husband is alright with letting the friendship die, I’d go with a nice card.

The topic ‘Should I bother sending a gift?’ is closed to new replies.

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