Should I bother sending a gift?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
47343 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would send a nice card with my heartfelt best wishes.

Post # 18
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

I don’t know, I generally don’t send cards for weddings I’m not invited to nor do I send cards for weddings I’ve been uninvited to, but I’m bad about cards in general. Definitely don’t send them a gift. 

Post # 19
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I don’t make a habit of gifting for events I am not invited to, and I sure as hell do not gift for events I am uninvited to. 


They didn’t elope. I don’t say that to be pedantic, but they did invite guests, they just choose to have a smaller wedding and uninvite you. 

Yes, you would have been out that money anyway, but I see a difference between spending money to attend a friend’s wedding and spending money to support a friend’s indecisiveness. 

But this is DH’s friend, so I’d let him deal with it. But I personally wouldn’t be dealing with these people again even if he chooses to. 

Post # 20
87 posts
Worker bee

I wouldn’t be sending them a gift, I’d be sending them a bill.

Post # 21
252 posts
Helper bee

I typically wouldn’t send a card for a wedding I wasn’t invited to. Since I’m petty I wouldn’t even text them congratualtions. Maybe they had a good reason for needing to cancel the wedding, but the least he could have done was call your DH directly and apologize for any inconvienence.  

Post # 22
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I would 100% send a card and THAT’S IT!

How wrong of him!! I’d be so pissed. I’d maybe not even send a card. I don’t know.

Post # 23
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

You could send a card if you’d like but I’d be hesitant to even do that since you never received a formal invitation and was notified of the cancellation last minute via text.

Post # 25
977 posts
Busy bee

No no no! First, he snags you guys up at the last minute. But then he elopes?!?! After knowing what you guys would have to do to get there? Yeah, I don’t think so. 

Post # 26
593 posts
Busy bee

Wow these people are A. terrible planners and B. highly inconsiderate!

I would just give a nice card.

So glad they waived the fee! That is awesome!


Post # 28
1764 posts
Buzzing bee

I wouldn’t send anything.

Post # 29
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Wait, no acknowledgment that he wasted your money?? Then he shouldn’t be getting shit from you. Not even a card! I wouldn’t spend another penny on someone that inconsiderate! 

Post # 30
409 posts
Helper bee

What if no one had forwarded you that text? 

I’d send a card. I’m glad you got the money back! 

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