Should I break my engagement?

posted 1 week ago in Engagement
Post # 31
Member
6 posts
Newbee

It is very hard to tell from the information here what the overall dynamics between you are. Ultimately if it comes down to choosing between his mom and you though, if you both continue to be at odds with one another over what you want for your wedding day, I think he needs to honor your wishes over hers. 

It would not be a good dynamic moving forward to put his mother’s wishes over his wife’s. That all being said of course there should be some compromises but if he wants to marry you he needs to be all in or else you need to work out your issues before you tie the knot. 

Myself, I wanted both of our families to be there, and our wedding planning was smooth sailing buy if something was very important to me and my husband chose his mother over me I would be pretty upset.

 

I would think of it this way…i have five kids and have been married 14 years. I just joined because my husband and I almost split up for real last year and are now reconciling and I am buying a new ring 🙂 but anyway, if my son got engaged and told me his bride was dead set on eloping, I am sure I would be sad..it is hard to tell because he is only four years old right now. But it wouldn’t be my place to tell them how they are to start their marriage. If they want to elope that is between the two of them. I may tell him I am sad about it and would love to be there but would have to be respectful of their wishes.

Post # 32
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I agree with Supersleuth :  I would be cautious of a man that constantly puts his family first. I’m not saying you need to leave him, but go to pre marriage counseling. My husband is this way and it has caused A LOT of issues. And we don’t even have kids yet (one on the way!). But I’m already sick of his mom and sister being the 3rd and 4th parties in our marriage. You need to discuss this with a neutral 3rd party to come to an agreement and put in boundaries now. 

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