- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
Hello Fellow Bee’s,
I never would’ve thought I’d be in the place I currently am but I need advice and to vent. I have been with my fiance’ for eight years and engaged for almost a year. We are set to marry September 2013. Since, we’ve become engaged things have been pretty tense in our realtionship, he seems disconnected and somewhat rude and mean and uninterested. I’ve tried to talk to him and he states that I am looking for things. He’s just going through personal issues and that he is “in love” with me. I wasn’t content with his answer/response and didn’t find it to be true but for the sake of argument, I left it alone. In the back of my mind, I noticed little things that would bother me about our relationship..mainly the fact that he is an awful communicator. He shuts down a lot and never really wants to talk about “real issues” just light, surface conversation. Well, i tried to just chalk it up to a phase that he may be going through and tried to block things out of my mind.
Well, recently an argument started about his lack of consideration and unwillingness to help around the house, etc. and unwillgness to talk about/work towards resolving our problems. As, we talked he tried to leave the room but I was standing in the door way but didn’t move because quite frankly, I was FED UP with him running from our problems! He didn’t ask me to move he just forcefully pushed me out of the way. This of course, angered me that he would put his hands on me! The sensible thing for me to do would’ve been to walk away…but I followed him and called him a coward for running and putting his hands on me. He then told me to, SHUT the F*** up! I didn’t I continued to talk…the next thing I know he charged and tackled me like a football player. I hit my head on the metal bed frame. He then began to ram his shoulders into my chest..all the while holding my neck down. I am screaming for him to get off of me and he is just in a rage. He then drops his entire body on my legs. I managed to grab a glass cup and smashed it on his back to get away. He released me and before I could get away he slammed me on the bed slamming my entire right side of my body onto the metal bed frame. He then came down on my face/nose with his elbow. I was in so much pain and fear I stopped fighting. He eventually got up and then told me repeatedly to get the F*** out! I ran in the bedroom and locked the door and cried and cried and cried! He left the house eventually and I watched him in the window stand there for a good 30 minutes in the same spot with his head down, then he drove off. Ten minutes later he sends me a text that states, “Do you need anything from the grocery store?” I don’t respond. It so happened my mother and brother were on their way from out of town to visit me so I was trying so hard to pull myself together. I was in pain and could barely walk or move my neck. It was obvious and I lied and told my family I fell down the stairs. My family stayed for a week or so, so it was easy for me to ignore and limit my interactions with my fiance. I even had to call out of work because of the bruising and pain. He managed to corner me when I went upstairs alone to change my clothes. He never apologized! His first words to me since the incident was, “Why aren’t you going to work?” So, I told him I was in extreme pain. He then said, “You should go we need the money for the wedding.” My response, “I guess you think this is a joke…there will be no wedding. I am DONE!” With a smirk on his face he said, “Whatever, we’re getting married stop being dramatic.” This is the only convo. we’ve had sicne then. I just don’t know what to do or where to start…..i feel like such a failure and a joke! I don’t understand how we got here and why we’re here?!