Post # 31
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee
Well, you decided marriage was important, and rather than stand up for yourself, you let him put you off for an entire year. Now he is basically telling you he has no interest in marrying you, and you are sticking around because….?
Post # 32
Member
10 posts
Newbee
beebee1983: Yes but so much happened in that year – it was chaos, my darling younger sister took her own life which broke me completely, my boyfriend himself subsequently had a mental breakdown and was in hospital for two months and my Dad was battling cancer. With such a shit year and now things have calmed down I wanted something good to happen this year.
-
This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by
purpleviolet. Reason: mistake
Post # 33
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee
I’m sorry for your terrible year, that sounds awful. I still don’t think this guy plans on ever marrying you. Things like that make couples with strong relationships come together to support and strengthen each other. If he doesn’t know if he wants to marry you after going through that, I doubt he will ever know.
Post # 34
Member
1464 posts
Bumble bee
doberman:
You need to calm down. You know a total of a few paragraphs about this person’s life, so stop with the rudeness and your ‘holier than thou’ attitude.
Life is far more complicated than that.
Post # 35
Member
10 posts
Newbee
Yes I think sadly you are right beebee but I just dont know what to do. He has and still is supporting me during grieving and he is very loving with it, and of course I supported him best I could during his breakdown. He had bacterial meningitis which the doctors think could have caused the mental breakdown along with stress so hopefully it wont happen again as it has never happened before.
Post # 36
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
I watched my mom waste 15 years with A guy who never intended on marrying her. She treated him like a king and apparently that wasn’t enough. He proposed to her after 7 years but only because my family gave him hell. Anyways, she wasted all her youth on a guy who only saw her as an option. Fast forward a year after they broke up and he married a woman he knew for 6 months. Point of the story is, don’t settle and waste your time.
Post # 37
Member
415 posts
Helper bee
purpleviolet: You’re not waiting. You’re
allowing all of this. Just don’t allow it. Put your foot down. Either he’s on the same page with you or he’s not. Do you want to be posting about this 10 years from now? Light a fire under his rear end…
Post # 38
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
purpleviolet: Sounds like you’ll need to take the initiative here as after 10 years and a kid, if he wanted to propose, he would have. I can understand wanting to wait until you can afford a nice wedding, but you have a child now, so that kind of changes the priorities. I DON’T think you’ve made a stupid choice. You obvious love him and you have a beautiful daughter together.
Just curious, why does your daughter have his last name and not yours?
Post # 39
Member
10 posts
Newbee
gloworms: She has his last name because when I fell pregnant (surprise) he said we should get married but I wanted to wait until after she was born. Anyway we have talked again tonight and he listened properly to me and we are both on the same page now. He said he had not thought much about marriage lately as he has been so focused on his business and we have been happy as it is. When I explained that I now wanted more and this was making me feel unhappy because he didnt seem on board with the idea he apologised and so we will be married this year he said so I feel much happier and truely loved again now. Thanks everyone for your input it has really helped me.
Post # 40
Member
1853 posts
Buzzing bee
purpleviolet: good to hear, glad you worked it out.
I was going to say if he wants a holiday it can be for your honeymoon or he can shove it! 🙊