Post # 1
My cousin passed away a few years ago, and her parents gave me her hanbok. I am planning on doing the paebaek at my wedding, but am not sure about wearing my cousin’s hanbok. I don’t want to offend her sister, or my aunt and uncle, who might be expecting me to wear it, but it’s bright red, which is not the color I would have chosen for myself.
Koreatown is close by, so I wouldn’t have trouble finding a shop to get a new one, but I’m just not sure if I should. I don’t wear a hanbok for the New Year’s saebae, so is it too much to buy a new one for this one occasion or just wear my cousin’s?
I could ask her sister how she feels if I buy a new one, but is that just opening a can of worms I could avoid by just making the decision myself?
Post # 3
Did they give it to you with the expectation you would wear it for the paebek? I would be surprised if they wanted you to wear something used or associated with a person who has passed away for your wedding. I was not allowed by my Future In-Laws to go to a funeral recently because I was told it was bad luck to be connected in any way to death. Perhaps that is a Korean in Korea thing? I also think that it is more common (at least in Korea) to get something new for the wedding, especially because hanbok styles change like all other kinds of fashion. I asked Fiance if we had to buy his mum a new hanbok since she has her own, and he said that it was a few years old and thus ‘out of date.’
If you don’t know the intention of the gift, then I would find that out first. However, if they did give it to you to wear for paebek, and if they do expect you to wear it, I personally would do it because a) I’m not superstitious in that way b) I wouldn’t want to cause drama in my family. If it isn’t meant for the wedding, and you don’t want to spend the money on a new hanbok, is there a hanbok rental store in the area? I’ve been to some first birthday parties recently where the parents rented hanboks, and they were AMAZING. Super trendy and chic – and cheap to rent. But I don’t know if those options are available outside of Korea?
Post # 4
I would also consider renting a hanbok as well in Koreatown, especially if it’s so close to you! It won’t be as expensive as buying a new one. Also–you never know–your cousins/uncle/aunt may not even be thinking that you should wear your cousin’s hanbok. Maybe you can find out if they do expect that you wear it to the wedding. (I have gotten so many hanboks from different relatives “passing them on” that it wouldn’t be fair for any one to expect that I wear a specific one at my wedding).
Post # 5
I can’t imagine that they would expect you to wear it, I know my family members wouldn’t. And I don’t think wearing a gifted hanbok of someone deceased on your wedding day would be considered a good omen. If I were you, I’d buy a new one. But I love getting new hanboks. 🙂
Post # 6
I didn’t vote for this one becuase I thought if the color was “red” then wouldn’t it be appropriate as the ‘wedding’ hanbok? You can just buy a different one for the layers underneath (including the top layer)
I also think asking your cousin is a good idea~ even though you run the risk of offending them, but it’s better to find out than having your paebek and having to bow in front of semi-angry relatives and having the negative energy~~~!