jhempstead : If he’s the love of your life, don’t call off the wedding. YES the parents are a huge red flag… is he an only child? Does he work for his father at the lawfirm or something? Even from the little information that you told us on this post, I’ve concluded why the parents are so controlling.
Think about it this way… when you go to the horse races and you put money down on a horse, you have stock in that race. In the same way, they have stock in your wedding. They are putting money down. It’s the same way if you have a favorite sports team and are a diehard fan, they get emotional when their team isn’t winning. It’s the same for the wedding, they are emotionally invested.
The reason I think they are so controlling is because his dad owns the lawfirm, he’s used to winning cases and fighting his side of the story. Also, he’s the boss, so what he says goes. He’s used to getting his way. Plus, they sound like they have a lot of wealth. Typically, people with a lot of wealth are used to getting their way because they pay for it. It sounds like that’s what they are trying to do with your wedding. They cannot accept the fact that because they are paying for something, they don’t get to control the situation or get whatever they want….that’s because they are SO USED to getting it.
It sounds like your Fiance understands that they are hard to deal with, so he just sides with them because it’s like swimming against the currant. I have parents who are controlling (they are paying a lot of $$$ for my wedding) and they are trying hard to control the situation, but telling them what they are doing wrong (and a few times of telling them) seems to get the message across.
What needs to be done is to talk (calmly) to your Fiance and help him understand that siding with the parents and then yelling at you because they want something their way is really upsetting you to the point that it doesn’t feel like it’s your wedding anymore and you’re considering walking away from it all. Sometimes that’s all it takes for him to realize that he’s jeopordizing your future together.
If the parents continuing fighting to get their way, don’t feel bad, they are getting their way with kosher for two guests (smh). Honestly, if I were you, I would feel like that’s why they are paying– to get their way with kosher & nothing else. So that’s all they should be in charge of… the food & who they invite. Speaking of invite.. it’s silly to invite so many people you don’t know & they don’t have to have the same number as your parents. It sounds like an EGO TRIP, they want to look important (as many people of wealth want to put on a show).
Best of luck to you! Please update us.