Post # 1
I need some emotional support right know. Originally we were going to have our wedding on August 2017 but Fi managed to pay everything faster and we moved the date to February 4th, 2017.
Fi has trust issues, sometimes he gets jealous for stupid things. Yesterday we had a big fight because I was going to pick him up so we could go and pick my daughter to her father’s house toghether, I got confused and I send him a voice note calling him by the name of my daughter’s father, whose name is Harry, the actual message said “Hey Harry, please bring tape and scissors” I immediately notice my error and told that the message was for him but that I said Harry because i was also messaging Harry to let him know that we were on our way to pick up my daughter.
When I got home to pick him up Fi did not wanted to talk to me and I insisted that it was a silly error and that he should not treat me like that, since I insisted, he got very mad and shouted at me in the middle of the street, I felt embarrassed, the neighbors saw everything, I went in and looked for some of my belongings and he went in and grab my other belongings and put them on my car and shouted at me and then he pushed me… while our neighbors looked in horror… I feel so embarrassed, I called my mom and dad, then I went to their house with my daughter, I haven’t heard anything from him, but I feel like the whole wedding thing must be called off. I have never cheated on him or done anything to provoke jealousy…
Now here I am, less than 2 months to to our wedding, everything paid, a wedding dress at home and thinking what should I do now that I feel that I have been physical and emotionally abused. Fi has been great with me and my daughter, however, I think that I am afraid that once we get marry everything gets worse.
P.S. He is a police officer, somehow I found his badge at my car this morning, my dad send him a message to inform him that his badge is at my mom’s house but he hasn’t called back to look for it.
Post # 3
Physical and emotional abuse is an automatic “don’t get married” in my book. It was a simple mistake and he took it waaaay too far. You didn’t feel safe or supported by him. Cancelling a wedding is much better than having a divorce.
Post # 4
Postpone your wedding and get therapy with him asap… Maybe some anger management classes will help him deal with his anger issues…. This is why its never a good idea to pay for everything up front for anyones wedding because anything can happen I waited 2 weeks before my wedding before i sent out all the checks ect because GOD FOR BID something happened and our relationship didnt work out let this be a lesson for you …
Post # 5
He pushed you?! Has he been abusive before?
Him laying his hands on you is a big NOPE in my eyes. You said you feel afraid that things will get worse. You should never feel afraid of your partner. It sucks to lose money on everything but consider yourself lucky that you ended it BEFORE you married this guy.
Post # 6
Thank you bees. I forgot to say that we had a courthouse wedding already which is a requisite in my country before having a catholic marriage. So we might still have to get a divorce. I am devastated because deep down in me I know that this is wrong.
Post # 7
hell yes you should cancel that wedding. His behavoir will only get worse. Hes already starting to get violent. You and your daughter deserve better. Get the divorce asap.
Post # 9
Yes he pushed me, he has not been physical with me before, this is the first time.
I have been in abusive relationships in the past, ex boyfriends and with family members and I feel that I must cut the cycle, I do not want to feel like a victim again, I think I deserve better and so does my daughter. I just feel embarassed.
Post # 10
Cancel the wedding. Just because it’s the first time he’s been physical doesn’t mean it won’t happen again – there is always a first time. Get out now! For your sake and your daughter’s.
Post # 11
then call it off talk to your vendors see if they are willing to give you any amount of money back… explain to them what happened i am sure they will be understanding…
Post # 12
OMG I’ve read all kinds of stories in the news about police officer husbands abusing and eventually shooting the wife and sometimes their kids in the USA. Maybe things are different in your country and your Fiance would never do that but this post scares me so much.
I wonder if it would be safe to file for a restraining order/order of protection or if that would escalate things? Is there a safe place you can go after calling things off that the Fiance doesn’t know about?
Post # 13
Cancel the wedding. Wasted money is better than being stuck in a hellish marriage. If not for you, do it for the sake of your daughter.
Post # 14
You should also consider pressing charges against him because that will be a lesson to him to not touch another woman ever again… No one deserves to be pushed and shoved what if you hit the floor and broke something? sorry but this man deserves to sit in a court room with everyone looking at him so he can feel the pain he caused you.
Post # 15
Well if you’ve already had a courthouse wedding, then you are already married and this guy is your husband….so I don’t understand why you wouldn’t need a divorce. But regardless, I agree with PP that you shouldn’t stay in an abusive relationship.