Should I cancel my honeymoon?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What would you do?
    Keep the trip : (35 votes)
    27 %
    Cancel the trip : (93 votes)
    73 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    64 posts
    Worker bee

    Cancel. You can always rebook your honeymoon if your Fiance gets a job that’s ok with him having the time off. Also your moms concern for the trip may have something to do with the fact that you can’t afford to live out on your own at this time. 

    Post # 17
    Member
    4778 posts
    Honey bee

    Cancel.  You’re clearly not able to to be financially independent.  The woman on whom you depend to financially support you while you save up for housing is against it and to let her give you a place to sleep for free while you spend your savings on a vacation would be a slap in the face to her, especially when she’s made her feelings on the subject clear.  And your unemployed fiance who couldn’t figure out how to handle his hurt finger on his own has zero marketable skills, nothing beyond a basic diploma, and no job prospects meaning you don’t know how long he’ll be unemployed.  You a can take all the vacations you want when you guys manage to get yourselves together and become financially stable. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    4128 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    …you guys can’t afford a place to live, he just lost his job, and you still want to take a trip? Come on.

    Post # 19
    Member
    7897 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Even if you have the funds for it now, you might need those funds in the future considering the recent job loss. I would cancel the trip. If things get better as you get close to the date, you can perhaps schedule a different trip. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    554 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I originally said go, but with your updates I wouldn’t. You’re living with your parents. If focus on finding a home to start your marriage in. And him having a job. The whole firing story is bizarre. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    510 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Originally seeing the post and not knowing the career field / financial situation. I would have said to keep it. Most employers will be willing to work around non-refundable trips that are already purchased or planned out.

    However, seeing your update about moving in with your family I strongly urge you to cancel. If your mom is the one asking you to cancel and you are living under her roof with her support, it would be rude to go on a trip while she backs your living expenses. She can pay for your rent while you pay for a Caribbean cruise? Nope – you only go on vacations after you can fully support yourself and have extra income. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    248 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: Bar Harbor Inn

    TAKE THE TRIP. If you wait for the “perfect” time,  you may never get to go.  

    Post # 23
    Member
    68 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    Cancel the honeymoon. If your circumstances have changed that drastically that you have to move back in with your parents, you can’t have nice things right now (I know it sucks, I’ve been there too). Wait a year or even two until you’ve got your own place and are more financially secure and keep your honeymoon savings for a downpayment/securty deposit/emergency fund. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    940 posts
    Busy bee

    A lot of professional jobs allow you to negotiate time off in advance (hence why our brand new employee took three weeks off in his first three months, even though the timing was horrible…) but most uneducated entry-level jobs don’t. I’d cancel the trip. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    6874 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    Yes, cancel. You not being financially secure enough to live independently and not knowing when/if he will find work (or how well it will pay, considering education, job history, qualifications) don’t bode well for the future. If I were the parent allowing you to stay with me while you “saved”, you taking a Caribbean cruise would indicate to me that you did not need my help any longer and were taking advantage of me.

    Your updates are extremely relevant and change the answer, By The Way. Your OP makes it sound like you have all your ducks in a row and that the only worry was him taking the time off with a new job, but that ISN’T the only issue at all. All things considered, I think it would be an extremely poor decision to go.

    Post # 26
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee

    I would cancel. It seems like you guys are going to need those funds later.

    That is a really weird reason to get fired btw… Why would his boss care? Isn’t there a police report to back up his story? I just don’t see how he can be fired for that…

    Post # 27
    Member
    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    Your mom is supporting you. She’s paying for this trip since you can’t afford to adult and are living with her. She says cancel. You cancel. If you don’t go on the trip, you could potentially come closer to living on your own (not being supported by mom) and as a result she is indirectly paying for your wedding and your trip. Cancel it and learn how to be a responsible adult. No offense, tough love. If you want to learn to be financially responsible and independent there are lots of bees who will gladly help you. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    40 posts
    Newbee

    I see your wedding is in October- obviously he should still apply for jobs before then but he should do uber/lyft. My FH does it and Friday and Saturday nights pay 20 an hour minimum. If he could wait to start a new job until the week after you return (being its now only two months away) he could uber/lyft overtime until then while he job searches and it would allow the time off. He could either keep searching and see what employers say or say his start date is right after.

    Post # 29
    Member
    2395 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    You said he was having trouble with jobs. What was the situation before this? How long had he had this job? Has he been fired before? Considering your current situation and his lack of education, I think it is time to cancel the trip. You can take trips later when you are both financially stable. Honeymoons don’t have to be long and don’t have to be expensive. You are putting the cart before the horse if you’re worrying now about Zika free vacations when you are TTC. First of all, it is important to have a stable job, stable home situation, and some financial security. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    596 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    It’s pretty disrespectful to mooch off your mom while spending your last remaining funds on a vacation, particularly as she has voiced concerns over the trip. 

    You really want a honeymoon, I get that but if you’re mature enough to be getting married then you need to start making responsible decisions. 

    As for TTC in a year, you’re living with your mom for god sake! Priorities! 

    I can’t help but think the reason he or you gave for him getting fired is total BS.  Where does he work?  Either this is a fabricated reason or you need to look into an employment tribunal. 

     

    ribbonsandbling :  TAKE THE TRIP. If you wait for the “perfect” time,  you may never get to go.  

    What an immature comment, no one is suggesting circumstances need to be perfect, but OP expecting her mom to pay for a roof over her AND her husbands head while they swan off on vacation with no money or job to go back to is insane. 

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