(Closed) Should I cancel the wedding? Advice please…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What would you do?
    Proceed expecting that he'll come back around to our original plans : (6 votes)
    5 %
    Cancel the wedding or postpone it to a later date : (84 votes)
    71 %
    Reconsider moving in together : (25 votes)
    21 %
    Keep on living together without assurances of marriage : (5 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 77
    Member
    64 posts
    Worker bee

    I hate this but I have to be honest. I dont know you guys at all so I could be totally out of my mind (keep that in mind LOL) I feel like he is just not into getting married. I dont know if thats just right now or forever but he is just not into it if its any kind of a secret. This is a step to change who you are legally and be forever binded together for better or for worse. That cant be a secret….I mean to what end? I would stop planning, stop putting money down or even using the term engaged. It makes you look silly and him look unsure of the relationship. Maybe hes happy with things as they are?

    I also question why you were footing the bill for the visits, taking 4 months to move in and still really holding onto the idea that you guys are engaged. I will tell you my guy tried the same shit for a bit…trying to keep me happy discussing wedding stuff but not moving forward. At one point I got upset, put the wedding books away, stopped even mentioning it and went back to just being his girlfriend. I told him we would revisit this when he was ready. I think honestly that is the only reason a ring of any kind and serious proposal matter…it shows hes 100% ready. I know for my guy it was so BIG for him to say the words and make that step when he was ready. I am really glad I didnt plan the wedding and hope he just showed up and played along at the end.

    Also I think if he really wants to get married when you do he would be discussing with you how to do it in a way where both your family needs are met as well as his need for less showy events than classic weddings.

    There is a great saying about having kids…it takes 2 yes’s to plan to have a child(one from the mother and one from the father) where both parties are in it for the long haul and accept the responsibility involved otherwise you have one person whos being forced into it…its like that with getting married…you really need two excited yes’s and right now he doesnt seem to be into it.

    I hope you do whatever is best for you as a woman who has control over what she needs in a relationship.Best of luck doll!

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