Should I change my last name when getting married?

posted 2 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: What do you think I should do?

    Tongue twister name

    Keep my last name

  • Post # 2
    1710 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    Quinn croom may be difficult to say fast, but it isn’t a bad name. 

    Post # 3
    706 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    What would your surname double barrelled with his sound like? Quinn your surname-croom ? Is that an option? 

    To be fair, I don’t think Quinn Croom sounds like a  tongue twister. I mean really when are you going to say it 5 times quickly? Never. Just speak clearly and it’s fine. 

    Post # 4
    293 posts
    Helper bee

    Have you asked him about taking your surname? He might be unhappy with a new last name but it sounds like you’re unhappy about the prospect too. Just because it’s tradition doesn’t mean you should be the one to compromise!

    Post # 5
    1894 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

    When we got married I changed my last name for the same reasons that you stated I couldn’t care less if my name is a tongue twister. It’s my name and that’s it I wouldn’t even dream of asking my husband to think about changing his last name to his middle name

    Post # 7
    293 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    quinnegner :  I feel the same way. I don’t think I’ll be changing my name, but neither did my mother so having a different last name than future children doesn’t bother me. Is he as bothered about you having the same surname as him and your children as you are? He might not understand why it’s important to you.

    Have you thought about both keeping your names, and hyphenating your children’s names? I know it’s not the same, but many couples are doing this now. Either that, both of you taking his middle name, or creating a completely new name that both of you are ok with. It’s all about compromise! 

    Post # 8
    264 posts
    Helper bee

    He could take your name insead.  Why would he have an issue with it if he expects you to take his?  If it’s just a name, he should be willing to consider it as equally as having you take his.

    Post # 9
    1286 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey

    If you don’t love your name option , you shouldn’t change it. However if you’ll deeply regret it, you can always go back and change it to your husband’s surname after marriage I suppose. 🙂 

    Post # 10
    670 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    I vote option C: hyphenate the two names

    Post # 11
    2753 posts
    Sugar bee

    I like the idea of changing to his middle name or him changing to your last name, but keeping to tradition is not important to me. And I don’t love “Quinn Croom.”

    FYI, keep in mind that depending on your state you may need to do extra paperwork if you’re changing to a name other than either of your current last names. We considered using my husband’s middle name as a last name but realized when we went to get our marriage license (in California) that that wasn’t an option without us doing a name change through a court. We were debating between him taking my last name and both changing to his middle name, and that was the deciding factor! 

    Post # 12
    602 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I’m not helping, because I think Quinn Pryor is a gorgeous name. It sounds so ancient and mysterious! Maybe I’m just watching/reading too much Harry Potter. Sorry for loving that name! 

    Post # 13
    2 posts

    Have you thought about using both last names? Like keeping your own and adding Croom after it? Either only you or you could both use double last names.

    Hope you’ll find a version you’ll be truly happy with, good luck! 🙂

    Post # 14
    58 posts
    Worker bee

    I will be taking my future husband’s last name, even though no one can pronounce it or spell it correctly. (And it rhymes with my first name lol) I am traditional in this aspect though, If I’m married, I want to have the same last name. Good luck making your decision!

    Post # 15
    342 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    There is nothing even slightly wrong with Quinn Croom! There is no need to say it fast 5 times – certainly not in a mirror, heaven only knows what might happen…. I digress. 

    You want his name – have it! I quite like it! I don’t think there’s a problem here at all – you make it quite clear what you want so don’t overthink it. xx

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