Post # 1
Hi bees! I’m engaged to an amazing guy and I’m so excited to get married and start a family with him. I always wanted to change my last name to my future husband’s so that the whole family has the same last name. It’s just a personal preference of mine. However, my name is Quinn and my fiance’s last name is Croom. Try saying Quinn Croom 5 times fast… you can’t. It’s a tongue twister and I honestly hate it. I could keep my last name, but I honestly dislike that option more than the tongue twister even. It’s really important to me that I have the same last name as my fiance and as my children.
I suggested my fiance and I both change our last names to my fiance’s current middle name. It’s Pryor, which is a family name and something that sounds great with both of our names. He really hates the idea, so we’re really stuck.
I just hate that this is one of those things where there isn’t a middle ground we can compromise on. Either I change my name to his or keep mine and I’m unhappy, or we decide to go with a new last name and he’s unhappy. What do you think I should do?
Post # 2
Quinn croom may be difficult to say fast, but it isn’t a bad name.
Post # 3
What would your surname double barrelled with his sound like? Quinn your surname-croom ? Is that an option?
To be fair, I don’t think Quinn Croom sounds like a tongue twister. I mean really when are you going to say it 5 times quickly? Never. Just speak clearly and it’s fine.
Post # 4
Have you asked him about taking your surname? He might be unhappy with a new last name but it sounds like you’re unhappy about the prospect too. Just because it’s tradition doesn’t mean you should be the one to compromise!
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
When we got married I changed my last name for the same reasons that you stated I couldn’t care less if my name is a tongue twister. It’s my name and that’s it I wouldn’t even dream of asking my husband to think about changing his last name to his middle name
Post # 6
Thank you! That’s exactly my thought. Neither of us are very traditional, so I like the idea of doing something different. My fiance is more open to taking his middle name than my last name, because I have a bit of a weird last name.
What you brought up is the reason I’m struggling with this so much though! Why is it the default that I have to compromise into having a name I don’t love? I appreciate everyone saying that Quinn Croom isn’t that bad, and maybe I am being dramatic. But it’s my name, and I think there’s power in a name. I think you should love your name. And I don’t love “Quinn Croom.”
Post # 7
I feel the same way. I don’t think I’ll be changing my name, but neither did my mother so having a different last name than future children doesn’t bother me. Is he as bothered about you having the same surname as him and your children as you are? He might not understand why it’s important to you.
Have you thought about both keeping your names, and hyphenating your children’s names? I know it’s not the same, but many couples are doing this now. Either that, both of you taking his middle name, or creating a completely new name that both of you are ok with. It’s all about compromise!
Post # 8
He could take your name insead. Why would he have an issue with it if he expects you to take his? If it’s just a name, he should be willing to consider it as equally as having you take his.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey
If you don’t love your name option , you shouldn’t change it. However if you’ll deeply regret it, you can always go back and change it to your husband’s surname after marriage I suppose. 🙂
Post # 10
I vote option C: hyphenate the two names
Post # 11
I like the idea of changing to his middle name or him changing to your last name, but keeping to tradition is not important to me. And I don’t love “Quinn Croom.”
FYI, keep in mind that depending on your state you may need to do extra paperwork if you’re changing to a name other than either of your current last names. We considered using my husband’s middle name as a last name but realized when we went to get our marriage license (in California) that that wasn’t an option without us doing a name change through a court. We were debating between him taking my last name and both changing to his middle name, and that was the deciding factor!
Post # 12
I’m not helping, because I think Quinn Pryor is a gorgeous name. It sounds so ancient and mysterious! Maybe I’m just watching/reading too much Harry Potter. Sorry for loving that name!
Post # 13
Have you thought about using both last names? Like keeping your own and adding Croom after it? Either only you or you could both use double last names.
Hope you’ll find a version you’ll be truly happy with, good luck! 🙂
Post # 14
I will be taking my future husband’s last name, even though no one can pronounce it or spell it correctly. (And it rhymes with my first name lol) I am traditional in this aspect though, If I’m married, I want to have the same last name. Good luck making your decision!
Post # 15
There is nothing even slightly wrong with Quinn Croom! There is no need to say it fast 5 times – certainly not in a mirror, heaven only knows what might happen…. I digress.
You want his name – have it! I quite like it! I don’t think there’s a problem here at all – you make it quite clear what you want so don’t overthink it. xx