(Closed) Should I change my name??!

posted 6 years ago in Names
  • poll: Should I change my name?
    Change your name : (21 votes)
    50 %
    Keep your name : (21 votes)
    50 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1185 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Julia Goolia, like on The Wedding Singer? 

    For all the reasons you mention, I wouldn’t change it.  You could still be Mrs. Hislast socially.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3267 posts
    Sugar bee

    I would always vote for keep yours.  Way less hassle.

     

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    79 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I vote to change it for your future children and because it shows family unity. my name will be weird sounding after I get married but I still know that it’s the right thing to do. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3267 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Ladybuglacy: 

    “I vote to change it for your future children and because it shows family unity…..but I still know that it’s the right thing to do. “  is a judgemental thing to say.  Family unity is NOT created by sharing a name.  It is through actions of the couple to show their bond and togetherness. Lots of families with everyone sharing a last name are dysfunctional, terrible, toxic relationships.  Sharing a name doesn’t make a shitty relationship any better.

    It is not the “wrong” thing to do to not change your name.  You want to change your name, go to town.  But it doesn’t make it the right thing to do for everyone.

    Post # 7
    Member
    356 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @andielovesj:  I couldn’t agree with your comment more! 

    And why does “family unity” have to come with the woman always changing her name? What about the guy!? Such an outdated tradition. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    3692 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Unless having the same name as your kids (assuming you give them DH’s last name) is a big deal to you, I wouldn’t change to one that rhymed with my first name.  

    Post # 9
    Member
    3267 posts
    Sugar bee

    @SupermarketGirl:  even more so because 50 % of people on this board, are going to end up divorced (staistically speaking), so may end up changing back, or to a new husband’s name. what happens to the family unity of mom and kid sharing a last name then? is the bond between them broken because they have the same last name anymore? of course not.

    Post # 10
    Member
    281 posts
    Helper bee

    I am keeping my last name and adding his as well. You can do that, but get his last name as a middle name?

    My Fiance is changing his last name too and getting mine.

    I am doing: My name My last name and His last name. 

    He is doing: His name my last name and his last name. That way our future kids will have both of our last names. 

    You should definitely think about doing this. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1497 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If you don’t have strong feelings either way, don’t change it. Then you won’t have to go through changing all your documents – license, SS, passport, etc.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6355 posts
    Bee Keeper

    If you don’t have strong feelings about it, why go through all the red tape and hassles of changing it?

    Post # 13
    Member
    6355 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @SupermarketGirl:  +1, couldn’t agree with you more. A guy changing his last name to his wife’s is an excellent way to create the “family unity” of same last names. It’s weird how often people overlook that option.

    Post # 14
    Member
    4929 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I say change it, but probably because I’m from a place where that’s just what you do, and I never saw it otherwise until WB. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    6355 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @sunitagt:  I get that the difficulty shouldn’t be the main factor, but I just mean all things are equal here except one path is paved with headaches and paperwork (more than you might think) and the other one isn’t. So it seems like a no-brainer to me.

    However, maybe there is something about changing it that you do prefer and that would make the hassles wbe worthwhile to you. I don’t know though…only you can answer that for yourself.

    Remember that if you can’t decide right away, there is no deadline. You can do so, or change it back, at any time.

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