Post # 1
Backstory… I live with my SO of almost 2 years and last week accidentally opened his email account, as he hadn’t logged out after using the laptop. While I didn’t open anything, I did spot a message in his inbox from a jewellery company confirming the purchase of an e-ring. We’ve discussed getting engaged/married and are on the same page re our timeline for this, but it came as a complete surprise that he’d gone ahead and already ordered it. After I found out, I was equally as delighted as I was disappointed. But what’s been seen cannot be unseen, so moving right along.
It’s my birthday later this month and he’s planned a 3 day getaway for us, during which I suspect he will propose. The reason I think this is because when we discussed the e-ring in the past, we’d talked about the 30 day money-back satisfaction guarantee offered by the company and that the proposal would be within that time frame, just in case there’s something not quite right with the ring and it needs to be returned. While I know about the ring, I don’t know for certain that he purchased the one I wanted, or where/when/how the proposal will take place. So there are still plenty of surprises for me to look forward to.
Anyhoo, I feel bad that I know he’s planning to propose and I’m not sure if I want to, or will be able to, keep this from him as we have a very open, honest relationship. I probably wouldn’t consider saying a word but silly excited me went and told my sister and bestie about the email and I’m worried that eventually my SO will know that I knew about the ring all along. He told me he’s organised for my birthday present to be shipped to my parents house, as he doesn’t want me to sign for the package in case I find out where it’s from. I assume it’s the e-ring.
After all that my question is, should I confess to my SO that I accidentally came across the email and know about the e-ring or should I keep my mouth shut and pretend I know nada?
Post # 3
I’d probably keep quiet, but if you’re going to do that, you probably need to not ever tell. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying something, and if you’re comfortable with doing so it’s a good sign for your relationship, but it probably ruins his thought of it being a surprise, which I’d want to keep.
Post # 5
Let him have this, and don’t say anything, he has gone to so much effort! The only thing I need you to clarify, are you concerned the 30 day return policy will expire if you don’t say something?
Post # 6
I think you need to decide what will weigh on you more – feeling guilty about knowing it’s coming and ruining the surprise, or feeling guilty about accidentally seeing the email. Figure out which one you can live with, and go from there.
Post # 7
The surprise is such an important part of the proposal for some many guys (just see this thread: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/he-ordered-the-ring-i-signed-for-the-delivery-hes-devastated) and let’s be honest, you would have at least had the proposal in the back of your mind during the trip anyway, so you haven’t really spoilt anything. Especially as you don’t know 100% that he will propose on the trip.
Just don’t say anything, haven’t there been surprises in the past from people which you have caught onto and kept quiet about? I always regret telling my mum that I knew about my surprise party (I was 6 and I still feel bad). I know it’s not the same but it’s nice to let people think that they surprised us. It’s better for everyone that way.
On a different note: How exciting!! 😀
Post # 8
@CanberraGal: and @MrsOliveBird: Thanks for your replies.
@simpleandchic: No that’s not a concern as I’m pretty sure SO will propose before the 30 day policy expires. The ring would’ve been shipped within the last week so I assume he’s got until early November to return it. Hopefully that doesn’t happen.
@abbie017: The reason I’ve considered telling him isn’t because it’ll weigh heavily on me. It’s more a fear that he’ll find out I knew all about the e-ring, as my sister and bestie both know about me seeing the email.
@Everdeen: I agree, it’s nice to think you’ve surprised someone, and I don’t want to take that away from my SO.
Post # 9
Keep quiet….You don’t know what the ring looks like and you don’t know how or exactly when he willpopthe question
Post # 10
@katlovesjames: yup, keep quiet, i’d be over the moon if ever i found out lol. but ywah, mute is the key…..
Post # 11
Keep quiet!! Let him plan out his surprise for you. 🙂 Just because you know the ring’s been ordered and it’s going to happen soon doesn’t mean you still won’t be surprised.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t say a word lol
Post # 13
It sounds like you already “knew” it was coming so you shouldn’t be ruining anything! Just keep quiet and let him live in lala land where he can think you didn’t know it was coming! Hope goes well!!!!
Post # 14
Keep quiet. I saw banking information before I was engaged so I knew a large sum of money (we had a joint account) was gone. DH didn’t propose for a couple of months after I saw that, so it was still a surprise. I decided it would probably just crush him and really not accomplish anything so I kept my mouth shut.
Post # 15
Thanks ladies. I agree that it’s best to keep quiet so I don’t ruin it for my SO. But I guess my main concern is him finding out that I knew he had the e-ring and had planned to propose. I’m worried my sister or bestie will mention it to him, or tell someone else who’ll spill the beans. I’d rather he hear it from me than anyone else.
Post # 16
Awww don’t steal his thunder by telling him you know. The guys get so little in the whole wedding planning thing … let him have this!!