(Closed) Should I confront my sister about things I heard when she pocket dialed me?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you confront your sister about things you heard her say about you when she pocket dialed you?
    No, it would just make her upset and there's no taking it back anyway. : (15 votes)
    9 %
    Yes, it would be a great way to resolve the issue : (65 votes)
    39 %
    Just pretend like it never happened and go about your business and keep your distance : (73 votes)
    43 %
    Slap her mean face!! : (15 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    9115 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    If this was actually four months ago, you missed the boat to actually bring stuff up and talk about it.

    I’d just work on letting it go at this point. What she says doesn’t matter — Your SO finds you to be the woman of his dreams and that is what matters.

    Post # 4
    41 posts
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I don’t really see the point in raising it when it happened 4 months ago. If drama follows your sister, I’d just limit your time spent with her. 

    Post # 5
    1251 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @cuppeeecakes:  SOrry that you overheard that 🙁 I’m not close to my sister – we have just never gotten on well. She is also a really difficult personality to handle and creates drama and issues where there were none before. I’m over it so we both keep our distance now. We have certainly had some stand up fights before (verbal and email) where  the issues have come out so it’s not like either of us are in the dark over why we don’t keep in close contact.

    Post # 6
    1150 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @cuppeeecakes:  You definitely need to say something if it’s been a few months and it’s still upsetting you – it will just get worse until eventually you explode and the two of you get in to a huge argument. Talk to her about it but try and approach it in a calm way. I’m sure she doesn’t really feel that way about you and was just trying to make herself feel better but it’s not acceptable to be talking about you to other people like that, particularly if she’s nice to your face.


    It also sounds like she needs to grow up a bit and learn that true love is based on much deeper things than physical appearance!

    PS I should add that my advise is based on if you want to continue to have a close relationship with her – if you’re happy to keep your distance, it’s probably not worth mentioning

    Post # 7
    2073 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I think you missed the boat about telling her how you felt overhearing what she said. It’s been 4 months. I’d try to let it go but try to distance myself from her, if you have not already. Just because she’s your sister doesn’t mean you have to be close. I wouldn’t bother explaining why to her unless she asks directly.  It sounds like she’s a bit of an unhappy person and may look for reasons to get angry. I, personally, wouldn’t want to deal with that drama. 

    Post # 8
    774 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

    I think it’s really obvious that she is super jealous of you. I would just let it go, but keep your distance for a while. 

    Post # 9
    9954 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I agree with @Hyperventilate: if this happened 4 months ago… as hard as it is, you need to let it go it is in the past.

    In truth…

    You need to read what you’ve posted here again from the perspective of “another person”… which is exactly how all of us will be reading it.

    You and your Fiancé was trying to give your VERY SINGLE Sister some GOOD SOLID Dating Advice…

    When things look their bleakest and you think you are never going to get another chance at love… suddenly God / Karma / Fate has another plan, and into your life can walk the most AMAZING Person ever

    (This happened to me as well… in my mid 40s, after my horrible divorce, when I met Mr TTR)

    That is the message she should have taken away from the convo

    What she took away, and repeated to someone else isn’t quite the same…

    “my sister’s fiance says SHE is the woman of his dreams??? She’s gained 50 pounds, wears no makeup, lets her hair airdry and wears it flat on her head and SHE is the woman of his dreams. THAT is his dream girl?!???”

    But that is ONLY because she doesn’t get it.

    You have indeed found TRUE LOVE… a man that loves you unconditionally… no matter what is going on in your life or what you look like

    BRAVO for you…

    Stand up and take a bow girl !!

    This is the kind-of LOVE she only HOPES she could find… but she hasn’t figured it all out yet

    She sees some sort of superficial element that you have to look or behave a certain way to be loved

    And that is her undoing… she is putting on a charade, and eventually that wears thin

    Either the men in her life see thru it… OR she is dating superficial guys that do the same.

    It is a shame sadly

    So what may have sounded to you as her being rude / insulting… was actually a compliment

    You have it ALL going on hon… you indeed have found the man of YOUR DREAMS cause no matter what is going on in your life, you will always be the woman in his

    Ya gotta feel sorry for your Sister, she’s too screwed up somehow to be able to figure that out.  No wonder she cannot connect the dots and find what it is she ultimately wants in a loving relationship

    Post # 10
    511 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Don’t bring it up. It sounds like she feeds on drama and will just twist it around to make you feel bad for something she did. You do not have to be close to her and you do not need to explain why. You can’t chose your family but you can chose your boundaries mad how/when you interact with them. I have a brother who causes chaos, makes bad decisions and is a leach. I love him as my brother but I do not like nor do I respect him as a person. I avoid him. He knows it and we have never discussed it. But I would be the k ows my reasons. Set your boundaries and try to live in the way that is healthiest for you. 

    Post # 11
    1247 posts
    Bumble bee

    @cuppeeecakes:  You know your sister best. I would only say something to my sister if I thought it would bring resolution or closure. As a previous poster said, after 4 months it’s still affecting you, don’t wait until you explode!

    Post # 13
    3026 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    It sounds like your sister has a lot of crap going on. You don’t have to be close to her but you don’t have to cut her out, either. 

    I’d try and have empathy for her. You’re living life on nearly a higher level when it comes to happiness; she’s stuck in drama and depression. Her words about you were about HER. I’d be sad, but more about where she is than what she said. 

    Post # 14
    509 posts
    Busy bee

    My sister and I are far from close. I think that it is not worthwhile anymore to bother. Quite frankly, I would leave it since she will never be what you hope anyway. Hopefully she is not Maid/Matron of Honor like mine is!

    Post # 15
    805 posts
    Busy bee

    @cuppeeecakes:  Given the time elapsed, I would work on letting it go, and just stay as far away from her as possible. I imagine if you tried to bring it up now then she’ll just pretend she’s forgotten and deny it. If you ever hear anything again and want to calle her up on it, just do so immediately, then she definitely won’t be able to claim forgetfullness!

    Post # 16
    1634 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Too much time has passed for you to bring it up in a constructive way. As much as it sucks to know people are not 100% supportive of you your sister wasn’t trying to be mean to you. She gossiped about you behind your back and it didn’t get back to you from another party. If she’s going to talk smack she did it in a good way.

    Your sister causes you grief in other areas of your life, so leave her alone. There isn’t a law stating you must be close to you your sister becauae she IS your sister. No one deserves to be a whipping boy. Just keep it cordial and share/ be close with your other friends and family.

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