(Closed) Should I consider postponing?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Postpone or not?
    Get married in 2011 : (9 votes)
    36 %
    Postpone : (3 votes)
    12 %
    Talk it over with her before you decide : (13 votes)
    52 %
  • Post # 3
    1032 posts
    Bumble bee

    I personally think you should talk to your Boyfriend or Best Friend before you decide. Not to sound horribly mis-understanding or rude, but this is about you and your future Fiance, not you and her.

    If your Boyfriend or Best Friend is being deployed, I think your priorities should be with him more so than her.

    You can always send video, pictures, and celebrate with her afterwards when she is able to come. Sorry you are in this situation, I know how rare and important close friends are. 

    Post # 4
    671 posts
    Busy bee

    I say postpone it. It sounds like she is a critical part of your life and has been for a while. I can understand that scare of deploying (my fiancée is a Lt in the Air Force) and you not being able to live on base while he is gone (if that is an issue) but we opted for a civil ceremony and later for an official wedding ceremony. This way you get all the military benefits of being a spouse and are able to have your best friend at your wedding. I can’t imagine not having my best friend at mine. 

    Post # 5
    1235 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    If you aren’t engaged yet then you have time to think about it. Plus, in the end you aren’t marrying her. You need to really talk it over with your future Fiance. He is the one you should really be worried about. I understand wanting her there. We aren’t going to be able to have some VERY important people at our wedding because of timing and health but in the end we had to realize that it was about the two of us and we chose a time that we both thought worked best. After the wedding we will be having mini receptions at his parents for those who couldn’t come on his side and at my grandparents for those who couldn’t come on ours.

    Post # 7
    1032 posts
    Bumble bee

    I would say talking to your Fiance about a timeline and all the things that concern both of you is never a “waste of time”.

    Don’t worry, take a deep breath, you will get it all figured out, and all the wedding details are minor in the long run, you two are the important part. Respect his reasons, and I am sure he will listen to your concerns.

    Post # 9
    1440 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @cyneswith: I wouldn’t postpone. Life can be very different a year from now. Your friend may be pregnant again, or not in a position to travel, and still not be able to attend. I would do what is best for you and Fiance. You could have her mentioned in the program and send her a nice album if she is unable to attend?

    Also, she may prefer not to travel with a newborn, but there isn’t any medical reason why a newborn can’t travel (at least not one that is at least a couple of weeks old).

    Post # 10
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2005

    IF it’s going to be a tiny personal wedding I would say just go ahead and get married but when you have a big wedding it’s about you , your fiance & sharing your special day with others. I can definitely see the issue here. I’d say talk to her about it. A talk with her might just help you sort it out.

    Post # 11
    295 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’d say you can do the official married before he deploys and postpone the big things for when your friend can be there.  My friend’s now hubby was deployed to Korea the year before they were to be married.  They secretly got married before he left, and she continued planning the wedding.  When he came back, they had the most beautiful wedding ever!

    The topic ‘Should I consider postponing?’ is closed to new replies.

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