(Closed) Should I continue to look for ways to go to this wedding? Long. Advice needed!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2528 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Have you considered going by coach or possibly driving up part way and then catching the train from there? For example do you think your car could make it to Birmingham? I presume that would be one of the stations to change at.

Maybe the bride has other guests who are coming from your area, or certainly part way? Maybe you could meet up with them and go together?

 

I think it’s a tricky situation, probably not made any better for you because being worried will make you feel worse I’m guessing.

Is there any way you could take more time off around that weekend and take your time travelling up there? I presume you still have family that way if you’re from the North. 

 

Hope the decision as what to do becomes easier for you.  

Post # 3
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

If you find you can’t go I would just give the bride a quick summary of everything you said here. Call her and tell her you REALLY wanted to go and it meant a lot since she came to yours, but trains, money, health…since she is a good friend she will understand. 

Post # 4
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Have you looked at flying? I know it sounds ridiculous but sometimes it can actually work out cheaper than trains!

Also, if you are on Facebook it might be worth posting a message to see if anyone you know is driving that way that weekend and could take you at least part of the way

Post # 6
Member
927 posts
Busy bee

I don’t really have anything helpful to say, but I’m shocked that bank holidays make it so hard to get around in the UK – that sucks! 

Post # 7
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

How about you drive from your home in Kent to London and then car share with your friend from London? Like you, I also live in the South East and Fiance doesn’t drive either. It sucks having to do all the driving but I do it so we can do things and not miss out. Since this is such a special occassion for a friend you had at your intimate wedding, it sounds like you really want to be there, so go for it! Book the cheaper hotel, your friend will just be glad you’re there at the wedding!

Post # 8
Member
8686 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would drive the 2 hours to the person that’s also going but that’s just me. If not, tell your friend you cant go for all the reasons you wrote in your post. To be honest you listed so many reasons that you can’t make it that it sounds like you already have your mind made up….

Post # 9
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Have you looked into hiring a car? The cost for hiring a car for a weekend (especially if you book in advance like through Enterprises) is occasionally much cheaper than trying to go via train, especially on bank holidays. And I’m sure if the wedding hotel is out of your price range the bride and groom would understand your wanting to stay someplace cheaper, especially if you’ll be coming a long distance already.

My husband and I drive from Nottingham to Gloucester on a pretty regular basis to visit his mother and sibilings, as well as driving further distances. It takes a while and traffic often sucks, but a bit of music helps and we get to chit chat in the car. I can’t drive in the UK yet so if he’s feeling the need to stretch we just pull off to a service station and walk around for a bit. It can be quite relaxing to drive.

Post # 10
Member
6290 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

LearCat23:  I would go. I would probably drive the two hours to the other person and then travel with them, failing that I’d just deal with the train. For me, not going wouldn’t be an option. One of my best friends has moved to Australia and will be getting married there: and I will be going come hell or high water. So not going to a wedding within the UK, albeit one that is difficult to get to, would not cross my mind. 

Another option if your health is a concern but your OH has to be in work on the Thursday would be for you to travel separately earlier (Wed or Thurs) staying either with family in Stoke or in budget accommodation near the venue, and he travels on the Friday. 

As far as staying at the venue goes,I don’t see the issue here; we had some people choose not to stay at the venue and we understood as it was expensive (£160 a nignt). I don’t feel that losing face is a valid reason for not going. All the bride will care about it that you are there; she won’t care where you’re staying.

Post # 11
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You mention you’re from the North (snap! I am too and live in london!) do you not have any family members you could stay with nearby? Also where abouts in the North is the wedding? Is it served by East Coast trains or Virgin? I know the routes pretty well so may be able to help out 🙂 

We had a couple of people say they couldn’t come to our wedding because of the distance between London and the North East and to be honest it was a little disappointing as the distance isn’t really that great. It ended up sounding like an excuse, rightly or wrongly. However if you genuinly can’t make it and will potentially begrudge your friend for making you travel, pay lots of money and make you ill then I’d say just nip it in the bud now and tell her you can’t go. It will save stress later and if you send a card & gift I’m sure it will be fine. 

Post # 12
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It would be better for you to make it alone than for neither of you to go. If your husband not going makes it easier, then go alone.

Do not worry about any expectations to stay in the wedding hotel.

Post # 14
Member
2528 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Whoever at British Rail thought that doing engineering works on Easter Weekend was a good idea is a complete numpty. Surely that’s a weekend when lots of people travel!

Post # 15
Member
7433 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Rent a car and plan a relaxing dinner break about 3 hours into your drive. 5 hours driving is not as bad as you make it sound, especially if you break it up, and renting car will be a lot cheaper than two train tickets. 

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