(Closed) Should I continue to look for ways to go to this wedding? Long. Advice needed!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I guess maybe it’s because I’m from the U.S. (which is much bigger), but I don’t think most people here would think twice about driving 5 hours. I would easily drive it straight, but you could drive 2.5 hours, stop for lunch, then drive the rest of the way. Here a lot of people routinely drive 15-20 hours all the time for vacations or visiting family, and no one thinks anything of it. I think you’re really making a much bigger deal out of driving this distance than you need to. 

As far as the car, as long as you maintain it well (as you should), there’s no reason to think an 18 year old car is likely to explode or break down or whatever after driving 5 hours. I’ve made the 36 hour drive to Arizona in my 16 year old car many, many times. We’ve also driven my husband’s car 12 hours to Michigan and 14 hours to Florida many times as well, and it’s 15 years old. 

Honestly I think you’re being a bit neurotic about this. Check your fluids and your tires, get your oil changed, and make the drive. Stop for lunch and you’ll be fine. Stay in the budget hotel and stop being self-conscious about it! If you want to go, there’s really no reason not to. 

Post # 17
28 posts
  • Wedding: October 2014

I live with a chronic condition so I completely understand your health dilemma. I would say make your health your first priority. If you think you’ll be OK to travel health-wise, then it sounds like you can make everything else happen with some creative planning. Also, don’t feel for a second that you need to stay in some fancy schmancy hotel just cause that’s what everyone else is doing. Stay in a budget hotel nearby. If the bride is a good friend she won’t mind one bit and will just be glad you made it to her wedding.

Post # 18
2528 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

a 5 hour drive in the UK is a long journey, especially since you are guaranteed to hit traffic somewhere. I guess in the USA it is not a big deal.

I once heard this saying, which is about Canada but I guess it rings true for the USA as well.

In Canada a 100 years is a long time. In England 100 miles is a long way. 

Post # 19
2514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

LearCat23:  can you rent a car for the weekend and stay at the wedding hotel just the one night (and a more affordable hotel the other?)


I’m Canadian.  I’ve learned we have a different opinion regarding ‘long’ drives than most of Europe.  So the 5 hours don’t faze me.  

Post # 20
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think if you let the bride know of all the troubles you will have getting there she will either be understanding and not hold it against you, or she will maybe even try to help you out and find someone travelling the same way or something or an alternative method. It’s worth a try if she’s a good and understanding friend, it’s always best to be honest.

As for staying at a different hotel, I don’t see how that would be a problem. Most hotel weddings I’ve been to the vast majority of guests did this.

Post # 21
7480 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I never thought about how people from different countries would have differing opinions on what a long drive is. I’m in the US and live about a 7 hour drive from my parents. When people ask how far away they are I always hear ‘Oh, 7 hours isn’t too bad.’

Anyways, I personally would go because to me a 5 hour drive is not that long. I would probably rent a car (if I was worried about my car not making it) and stay for one night at the cheaper hotel. However, I don’t know your specific health concerns or budget. If you are truly concerned about getting sick and/or will be negatively affected by the money you need to spend I’m sure your friend will understand.

Post # 22
4028 posts
Honey bee

Interesting that 5 hours is considered a long drive. Even with traffic, in the US that doesn’t seem to bad. For example, we have visited my family in California (we live in Colorado) for the past 7 years and we drove each time. It’s a 19 hour trip, one way. We usually go out for one to two weeks. It’s cheaper than flying (saves us about $600) and we make a trip out of it (stopping in Las Vegas, Grand Canyon etc). 

I also find it fascinating that a few bees in the UK have commented that their SO’s don’t drive. Is it because you live in large enough cities that you can use public transit? Or do they have ailments? I am genuinely curious. I live in a mid-sized city, but our public transit sucks. Not driving as an adult is not option. 

Anywho, I think a lot of PP’s have offered great advice. If you really want to go, it seems like it is feasible (even if it isn’t ideal). 

Best of luck OP!

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