Post # 16
allthingsthatsparkle : I think you’re mis-interpreting what the poster was saying. It’s not that pregnant women shouldn’t job hunt or try to advance their careers. It’s that, if you know you’re going into a job with the intention of quitting as soon as possible (not just going on mat leave, but leaving permanently), it’s a shitty thing to do. This is true no matter what the reason is, not just due to pregnancy. It’s the “me me me” attitude that seems to be running rampant these days, and that’s how this scenario is coming across.
Post # 17
beebee1983 : I think you perfectly summed up what I was thinking but couldn’t put together.
The only thing I’m not sure about is the fact that TTC may not go as planned and OP could have been in a job that better suited her for several years. (Although she seems content in her current job so this may not be the case.) I know for me TTC #2 hasn’t gone how I thought and maybe it would have been better to switch jobs and do something I like more for the last 2 years than stay here. Its hard to say though because this job has been so flexible with my missed work and multiple doctors appointments.
Post # 18
- Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy
wedbee16 : two things – 1. can you go back to working from home eventually if you need to?
2. consider your benefits.
It took my husband and I two years to conceive and I am so glad that we did not put everything on hold while we were trying. It helped immensely to have other things going on and positive things to think about in the meantime.
Post # 19
I agree with others I would make the decision without taking pregnancy into account as you don’t know how long it might take to get pregnant or how that might go. Make the decisionn based on what would be best for you right now.
Post # 20
@skunktastic is spot on, and @beebee1983 explained it perfectly.
Companies can’t discriminate, but they do. Companies do not want to invest time and resources into training people who are going to leave after a short period of time, whether male, female, etc. This happens a lot with older workers who are close to retirement. It’s a perfectly reasonable stance, the problem is that women often fall victim to this because of the stereotype that women won’t work once the baby is born, a stereotype that OP would be reinforcing if she took this job and then left 9 months, 12 months later. It hurts women who prioritize their careers and plan to continue working after becoming mothers.
IMO it is not fair to the company to take a job knowing you are going to leave and it reinforces societal stereotypes, making it harder for women as a whole to erase this perception.
The tricky part of OP’s situation is that she doesn’t know how long it will take to get pregnant. If I were a friend advising her, I would say if she really likes the job, take the job and, depending on her age, postpone TTC for 6 months to a year. That way she will have put in at least a couple years at the company, at which time it’s sufficiently professional to leave.
If she isn’t super enthused and money isn’t a huge factor, I’d say stay where she is.
Post # 21
prior to pregnancy, i was already working from home 2 days a week. i went through a LOT of infertility treatments and i told my supervisor, so it was nice that i could work from home on days i didn’t feel like coming in or had appointments in the middle of the day. after we were successful, it was nice that i could work from home on days i didn’t feel it was safe to driving the mornings when the building wasn’t closed.
Post # 22
I work from home, I’m also currently pregnant. For me I’ve been working from home for the past 7-8 years. I love everything about the flexability involved and I cannot imagine what I’d do having to go back to an office environment where I answered to someone else and had a strict schedule.
It look me 10 months of trying to get pregnant. That involved multiple trips to my OB for bloodwork, and until we got our BPF this month, we were getting ready to move forward with more testing. All of these things happen M-F / 9-5. Now that I am pregnant (only about 6 weeks) being able to get up and walk around, go to lunch whenever I want, or lay down for a power nap at 2pm is everything. I totally get that people who work outside the home make it work but I personally enjoy the freedom I have.
Look, you could take the job and start TTC and it could be over a year – no big deal. Or you could start TTC and get it on the first shot. How long after you take this job do you plan to TTC?
I have to echo what everyone else has said, it’s shitty to take a job knowing your trying to get pregnant and going to quit the second you have a baby. It cost businesses a lot of money in man hours to interview, hire, train, etc. If you were saying you wanted to take the job and start TTC in 1-2 years that would be a different story but most of us are reading that you want to basically start TTC ASAP.
Women have been fighting SO HARD to break the stigma attached to hiring….for this very reason. Women who take jobs knowing they’re going to quit soon are the reason the rest of the demographic is discriminated against.
Post # 23
Thanks, everyone. It’s been really interesting to hear what you all have to say and you have all brought up some points that I did not think enough about.
I’m not a huge fan of my current job, but it’s doable. It’s pretty isolating at times (which is a big reason why this new job appealed to me), but the flexibility has been great. There are other factors that were making me question this new job as well, such as my husband and I picking up our new puppy this weekend, potentially buying a home in an area that would make the job a bit of a commute, etc.
I know I will not be going back to work right after I have a baby, but I will probably try to in the future when my kids are older. That is another reason why the new job appealed to me (so I could get more experience for the future). However, I understand that it would look pretty bad to get pregnant shortly after getting a new job, with the intention of leaving. We are planning to start trying toward the mid to end of this summer, and I am 27 and healthy, so I hope it won’t take too long. Anyway, ultimately, I decided not to take the job, and I thank you all for your honest opinions! They really were helpful.
Post # 24
beebee1983 : people (mean and women!) quit for all sorts of reasons, and it’s no longer a given that a woman will automatically up and leave just because she’s having a baby!
Post # 25
Kemma : But if you do do that, it doesn’t look good.
wedbee16 : Glad you decided not to move- if you plan on working when your kids are older, it’ll be good to have your last employer with good things to say about you vs. having your last employer saying ‘she started, got trained and didn’t come back after the kid’
Post # 26
I would go on and live your life like you aren’t TTC, because you don’t know how long it will take. It could take 1 month, it could take over a year. Making decisions just because you might get pregnant fast seems like it will put a lot of stress on the TTC process!