- 7 years ago
Me and SO have been discussing getting engaged heavily over the last two months. Right now, we’re waiting for my custom e-ring to be finished by the jeweler! He has told me that he plans on proposing sometime in the first three weeks of December. Both he and I feel ready to be engaged; we both graduated from a prestigous university, been together over two years, have great jobs (at the same company), live independently in our own apartment, own a cat together, etcetc. We plan on being engaged for about two years before getting married.
The problem is, we are on the younger side. He is 23, and I am 22. We want a year or so before we start planning the wedding to enjoy the engagement, and we wanted about 1-1.5 years to do the actual planning so it is less rushed and more fun. But we both agreed that 24/25 would be a good age to get married, so it makes sense for us to be engaged soon.
However, today over dinner with my parents (we are visiting them) both my parents expressed strongly that SO’s cousin, who is 23 and getting married, is much too young. I told them that I wanted to get married at 24, and prior they knew I wanted a 2 year engagement. So they were like “…waaaait..” and me and SO quickly changed the subject before they asked when we would be engaged. Basically, they kept saying 23 was way too young to get married, when I said I wanted to get married at 24 they thought I wanted to get ENGAGED at 24, married at 26. And even then, they thought it was too young.
I am very close to my parents, and I don’t want them to be unhappy about our “young” engagement. It does hurt me that I know they will probably be unhappy that I am getting engaged so young. And in a monthish, I will have to call them and tell them I’m engaged. I want to be HAPPY when I break the news.. not scared. And right now, I feel anxious about telling them. SO’s parents probably feel the same way as mine. Also, both his and my parents are immigrants from Asia, so it is very ingrained in our culture to be very respectful of our elders/parents.
So, should I discuss with SO delaying our engagement so our parents will be happier? It sucks that they can’t just be happy for us … and I don’t really want to change me and SO’s plans just so they are happy. I mean, it matters most what me and SO feel, right? But I can’t help but be scared to tell them (in a month) that I’m engaged!
What do I do? Delay? Just do it?