- 9 years ago
I’ve posted before about letting my girls pick their own Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, and tonight the situation with one of the BMs reached a new level. A quick background – I have 4 BMs, my sister (MOH), his sister, and 2 bffs from HS. The one causing the issues is a friend from HS, and I was in her wedding 2 years ago (I had to wear a hideous dress and it was super-tacky). I’ve sent out some links for different dress ideas, and Bridesmaid or Best Man3 shot down every dress idea I had. She even said some hurtful things like, “well it looks cheap but if that’s what you’re going for -“. Then, I decided to go with dresses from the same company, Aria, but any style they want in a sepcific material – she hated that idea too. I recently decided to let them pick their own dresses with some parameters – black, knee-length, and taffeta/silk material. I sent tons of insipration photos (including $30 Target dress, $80 JCrew dress, $150 Nordstrom dress). This seemed to be the best option as Future Sister-In-Law had a black dress fitting those guidelines, and Bridesmaid or Best Man 2 and Sister/MOH are both excited to go on a shopping trip together lafter the holidays and start scoping it out for dresses for each of them.
Tonight, Bridesmaid or Best Man3 said some mean things to my sister through facebook chat (thank you, social media!) in regards to hating my decision, hoping not to spend more than $200, and that she wises we all could have agreed on something. My sister, of course, stuck up for me and said she was excited about everything. This is so frustraing, as Bridesmaid or Best Man3 has not paid any interest in wedding planning or any other details of our wedding. Furthermore, she won’t give me any feedback about my decision.
Fiance thinks I should not include her in the wedding anymore. He pointed out a lot of her other shortcomings, including putting no effort into our friendship, lack of motivation for personal and professional development, and seeing me only when it’s “conveienent” for her. I think it would be incredibly harsh and potentially destroy our friendship. Both of us agreed that we would likely not be friends with her + her husband within the next 5 years – she is not really a “lifelong” friend. We would look at our wedding pictures in 20 years and say, “who was that again? Why was she in our wedding?”
Before you tell me I shouldn’t have asked her – it’s too late. I felt obligated because I was in her wedding, and I wished I had given more thought and consideration to my choices. But what’s done is done. Where do I go from here? Do I confront her and ask her what she wants, and let her decide if she wants to be in the wedding? Do I ignore it and deal with it? I feel so much negativity and frustration with the situation, and I need some hive feedback!! Help!