Post # 1
So we’re having my wedding in my hometown in NY, where all of my family lives. The FI’s mom, 2 brothers (and their SO’s) and his uncle are coming from out-of-town (from both other parts of NY, and MA,) and we have 2 friends who are coming from CA. And it may be important that I mention that the FI’s older brothers travel out-of-country a lot for their jobs.
Q1: Do you think STD are necessary?
Q2: Would I only send them to people travelling from out-of-town?
The Fiance and I really don’t have the extra money lying around to print out/postage STD’s, so we were thinking if we *DID* do them, we could do a website. (The Fiance is a web designer.) Q3: Would a website be ok instead of sending an actual card?
Thanks all 🙂
Post # 3
I’m a fan of STD’s, but I don’t think they are NEEDED. You can easily spread your wedding date via website or word of mouth.
I think they are a nice gesture, and most of the time they come with a magnet/sticker/photo for guests to hang on their fridge [so they hopefully won’t forget!].
We are doing them for my fi’s side of the family, who all live 2,000+ miles away. My side of the family won’t recieve them as they all live within an hour of the wedding location.
Post # 4
Etiquette Snob here… lol
Save the Dates are a relatively new item to the Wedding Stationery Industry (and some would say a “cute” way for them to generate even more money… in that Wedding Stationery is a HUGE Moneymaker).
All Save-The-Date Cards truly are a Heads Up – Notification – Announcement that an Event will soon be taking place
In the same way that a Flyer announces a Garage Sale.. or an Ad in the Newspaper your favourite Performer coming to town for a “limited Engagement”
Technically, they are not an Invitation to anything.
BUT people tend to get quite offended if you send them a STD, and then never follow up with an Invite (understandable… afterall it says in big bold letters somewhere SAVE THE DATE… implying that you will invite them)
The mess happens because…
Brides / Couples get all excited… pick a date and send out Save-The-Date Cards without actually have gone thru the ENTIRE Process of … Making A Guest List – Consulting their ACTUAL Budget – Picking a Venue that Works – and Finding a Date that works. In many cases folks do it backwards… Date first… and then later regret it because they find themselves being squeezed by the limitations they are facing in regards to Space, Budget or Expectations… sometimes ALL 3
Save-The-Date Cards have replaced what once upon a time was an Engagement Announcement… where a couple (or their Parents) would joyfully announce their upcoming Marriage in the local Newspaper… with a vague indication such as “A July Wedding is Planned” OR “An Autumn Wedding is in the works” etc.
Save-The-Date Cards are great tho if one is having a Wedding in an unexpected location… be that a Destination Wedding on some Exotic Island… or just another City / Country. OR if you are planning for a Long Weekend. As BOTH cases might require your Guests some scrambling in the logistics dept… time off, airfare, budgeting extra expenses etc.
BUT if you are getting married in your Home Town… or even the City where you now live… and many of your Guests do also (or nearby) then Save-The-Date Cards can be omitted entirely.
Personally, in your situation I say skip em. Build your Wedding Website… launch a page that breaks the news “a virtual STD” (just make sure as I said you did all the related research) and inform JUST your nearest & dearest of the location of the Website who YOU KNOW will make the A-List for your Invites. No one else need know where your Website is located. (And certainly don’t put any of your Wedding Plans up on FaceBook or any other Social Media Website… RUDE… and causes too much DRAMA)
Hope this helps,
Post # 5
@jenilynevette: +1. I like Save-The-Date Cards, but don’t think they are *necessary*.
It made me feel a little better knowing people had a head’s up about the wedding though. If you do decide you want to do them and you’re concerned about cash, get a VistaPrint groupon and get postcards or magnets through them. It is actually quite inexpensive. I don’t know if it’s still going, but a day or two they still had a deal going for $70 credit for just $17 (they have them all the time though).
Post # 6
@This Time Round: Thanks for all the information! I thought I should send them to people travelling from out-of-state, to give them a “heads-up” so they can save up time, and money, for plane tickets and hotel rooms and what not. Maybe we’ll just stick with a good ol’ wedding website.
Post # 7
@ThatOneGirl9613: Wow, that’s a really good deal. I’ll check it out, thanks! 🙂
Post # 8
@jenilynevette: Yeah I figured I wouldn’t need to give them to anyone on my side of the family, because they all live where we’re having the wedding. But for our friends in CA, and the FI’s family in MA, it’s probably a nice “heads-up.”
Post # 9
We have about half our guests coming from overseas. We emailed Save the Dates to our younger (internet using) guests and my Mum printed some out to send (so it was local postage for her) to some of our other guests.
I sent a PDF version of a Save the Date I created, so it was still nice and printable too.
I think if you are questioning whether it is worth it, just email/website is the way to go 🙂
Post # 10
We have LOTS of out of town guests, majority of our wedding party is out of town, etc. I designed ours myself and had them printed through Vistaprint with a Groupon like a pp posted about. People loved them, though those who weren’t really familiar with the concept were confused (my Future Father-In-Law, for instance), despite the fact that it said, “SAVE THE DATE” in huge letters at the top. We sent them out 11 months before our date, after we had both venues, our photographer, and our officiants booked, guest list done, wedding party asked, etc.
I like @clairebear000‘s idea, sending a PDF version to those you can and then printing out and mailing others. We have a number of people in our families who aren’t computer-savvy (and/or still have dial up), so we had to keep it mostly offline for them (plus, I like getting mail).
Post # 11
I have a small guest count of 41 people, and I choose to do save the dates, along with my invites, and forgo any RSVP’S. If your guest list is small, and all close friends and family who you talk too, no need for RSVP’S, really. I choose to do a cute save the date instead, mainly because they were cute, and rsvp wasn’t necessary. 🙂
Post # 12
Unless a wedding is a destination or holiday wedding, or more than 10% of the guests having to travel out of state, I think they’re unnecessary. I’m doing them because our wedding is a destination for 95% of our guests, otherwise I wouldn’t bother.
Post # 13
@LadyMoriarty: In your case I do not think they are necessary. I think Save The Dates are more necessary for couples that have many more people coming from out of town that you are. Or you know, people that just want to share their engagement photos. 😉
Post # 14
We didn’t bother with Save the Dates. We gave the out of town people a head’s up of the date by email, and sent out our invitations pretty early as a compromise.
Post # 15
We are currently sending out Save the Dates, to pretty much everyone on the guest list except for our parents (as they are fairly involved in the planning anyway). We have people coming from different countries, and also from different parts of the country, so we thought it was a good idea.
We ordered some really nice ones online, they are the fridge magnet type 🙂