(Closed) Should I do something about this?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’m appalled that they would actually buy the dress when they know that you didn’t want it! 

In my opinion, you should sit them down and explain your vision and if they don’t like it, they don’t have to be in the wedding. That being said, that’s a horribly difficult conversation to have! So, if you feel like you can roll with the punches, leave well enough alone. Just don’t be a push over!!

Post # 4
2379 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

That wedding theme is gorgeous. I’m discusted that your closest bridesmaids won’t listen to what u want-on your own wedding day!!!!! If I wanted my bridesmaids in poo brown they woulda said ok it’s your day not ours. I think u need to stand up to them and tell them what u want. After all they won’t look at the photos for years to come or reminise all the time about the day but you will and it needs to be what u want/see/envision for your special day!!! They are being so selfish – just wait till its their day then they might give a shit and understand!!!!!


Post # 5
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ok. I’m totally one of those “Don’t make them your brideslaves” people. 


But w.t.f.?! Showing up in whatever color monstronsity the bride chooses with a giant smile on your face is pretty much your only obligation as a bridesmaid. 


Yes doll. Say something. Lol, why are you even debating this? Maybe they think you’re too nice and they can walk over you or something. Don’t let them. They’re being really incredibly rude. 


Post # 6
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’d make them exchange the purple dresses, that’s ridiculous! I’m sorry 🙁 I know you’re shy but its your wedding, this is one time of all times to stand up to them!

Post # 7
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I’d ask them to buy another dress, this time in green. Maybe they thought it was up for negotiation? I don’t understand how they could just buy a purple dress when you were right there Embarassed

Post # 8
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@BookwormBride2Be:  WOW. That’s incredibly selfish of them. I can’t believe they just bought the color that they wanted–even though you didn’t want it! 

I know this isn’t easy–but I’d sit them down and say that you understand that they want to wear those dresses, but those were not the dresses you want at your wedding. Point out that you have an overall look you are going for, and you need all the elements to go together. They don’t have your bigger wedding picture in mind. If that’s not enough, remind them that you are spending a LOT of money on flowers, photographs, venue and all the other wedding details that you are coordinating with GREEN dresses…so if they insist on wearing the purple dress, they can do so–but just not as part of the wedding party.  

Point is: stand up to your friends. This is your day. YOU are the one who lives with the memories (and EXPENSIVE photographs) of this day for the rest of your life. If they’re really good friends, they’ll understand and do what YOU want. 

And BTW–if the store doesn’t accept an exchange, I’d still insist they buy dresses in green. It’s your bridesmaids’ own fault for buying a dress that you didn’t want them to buy. I’m sure they can find another opportunity to wear those purple dresses. 

Post # 9
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Um, that is ridiculous! It’s not even a question of whether or not purple would look okay with your theme – you told them your colors and they basically said, “Hmmm no, we like purple better than green, so we’re buying that.” Wtf?! How did that even happen? If you were there when they purchased the dress and didn’t put your foot down then this is going to be a bit more difficult, but you really need to stop letting them walk all over you – is that typically how your friendship with these two goes, or does your wedding just seem to be bringing out the bridesmaidzilla in them?I would call the shop before anything else and see if the dresses can be exchanged for the other color.

Post # 10
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I love your inspiration, and while I think the purple dresses will be fine (and probably a more flattering color on all of your bridesmaids), it was incredibly rude of them to just ignore you and up and buy dresses that they liked. It’s YOUR wedding. You need to put your foot down with them and speak to them about this ASAP.

Post # 11
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That so rude! If you decided to buy a black dress and their dream theme was pink they would be upset, no? Some brides do treat their friends badly, but wearing the dress is part of the agreed responsibility. If they didn’t want to do so they could have declined. 

Post # 12
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It’s pretty rude of your bridesmaids to purchase dresses before you approved them!

That being said, I’d probably flip if a bride wanted me to wear a green dress – it looks ridiculous on a lot of people.  Purple is SO MUCH more flattering!  You can definitely pull off that feel with purple dresses.  Just accent with lots of green!

If your Maid & Matron of honor bought purple dresses, can the rest of your bridesmaids wear green? That might work out well actually!

Post # 13
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You said that you felt steamrolled…did you actually tell them it was okay to buy the purple dresses at some point?  It’s really hard for me to believe that two bridesmaids would purchase a completely different colored dress without some form of consent from the bride.

ETA: To answer your question, yes, I think you can pull it off with plum dresses.  I also think you can pull it off with totally mismatched dresses (plum and green).  For instance, there are bridesmaids in non-green dresses in the inspiration blog you posted.

Post # 14
7403 posts
Busy Beekeeper

That takes hella balls. I would have them return the dress on principal alone. No. Just. NO!

Post # 15
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

wow, that is so incredibly rude and unfair to you! especially the one Bridesmaid or Best Man who took it upon herself to buy the purple. if you want them in green, let it be known girl! if they have an issue or refuse to wear green, than they don’t need to be in the wedding. its YOUR day and YOUR decisions, not theirs!

Post # 16
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

@BookwormBride2Be:  Sounds like they are taking advantage of your good nature. It’s your wedding, so it’s your choice. They need to respect that, just like I’m sure you would do when it was their wedding.

I know it can be hard if you aren’t a confrontational person, but you do need to speak up and stand up for yourself. You need to be happy on your wedding day – not them! Too bad if they don’t like the colour, at least they get to pick the style. It’s one day, so they can suck it up and be good friends to you.

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