(Closed) Should I drop out of the wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think that as much as it might be hard for her, you need to take care of your mental help. Offering to still help is a great idea, but it might be best to step aside– that way if you need a moment to yourself during the wedding or feel you really want to leave a bit early it wouldn’t be so much of a faux pas.

I’m sorry to hear about your engagement. I hope things get better and that you have the support of friends and family at this time.

Post # 4
1714 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

You should be honest with her. Without a doubt. I am sure she will understand! If it is painful to be at a wedding or wedding related things, then there is no point inflicting damage upon yourself for the sake of someone else. 

I’m sorry to hear of what happened, I can’t begin to imagine how it feels… 

Post # 5
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m sorry to hear about your broken engagement. I sincerely hope you find peace and happiness. With that said, I think you should just be honest with the bride. She should understand and be supportive of your decision. It will be alot harder on her if you wait until last minute to decide you just can’t do it and drop out. Just tell her what you told us and then take care of yourself. I have been through a broken engagement and I know first hand how difficult and traumatic it can be. Do what’s best for you. When it’s all said and done the bride will still have her day and she’ll still be happy. So focus on getting yourself happy. Best wishes, darling.

Post # 6
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@waitingtobeamrs: So sorry to hear about your engagement.  I can’t imagine how hard it is.  Do you think perhaps you should wait a little bit before you make that decision?  It sounds like it is very fresh and understandably all consuming…right now.  I agree with PPs in that you should go to your cousin as a friend.  Tell her that it is very hard for you right now and you are going to try your hardest to be there for her AND take care of yourself.  I see your date was set for October so I’m assuming hers is in the fall too.  Maybe some time will help you heal?  I just don’t want you to regret your choice when the day comes.  

 This is just my opinion.  In the end, you do what is best for YOU and YOUR mental health!

Post # 7
14656 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with PP.  This must be so hard and if doing all this wedding stuff is just too painful, you should tell her and drop out.  I’m sure she will understand.

Post # 8
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m so, so sorry. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you.

I agree with everyone that you need to do what’s best for you. If you and your cousin are close I’m sure she will understand–though she will also be disappointed.

I second @Mars62312: I think you should give this some time before you decide. It’s all very fresh right now. Perhaps you could tell your cousin how difficult all of this is for you and see if she’d be willing to wait a bit before dress fittings?

Here’s the thing: This is a really difficult time for you, and it’s hard to get perspective. In five or ten or twenty years, when you look back, will you regret dropping out and feel guilty/sad that you weren’t a part of it, or will you be confident that you did the best thing under the circumstances? If you can say with confidence that you won’t regret it, then go ahead and drop out. But if you aren’t sure, see if she’ll wait for a while before ordering your dress and let you process things and come to a decision.

So sorry again to hear of what you’re going through. I hope the new year brings you lots of healing and lots of joy.

Post # 9
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Aww, I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through.  I agree, you should tell her asap.  I’m sure she will understand.  All the best to you as you go through the healing process.

Post # 10
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

First of all, big hugs for you and I simply could not imagine.

My advice would be not e-mail but pick up the phone and talk to her instead. It may be confronting for you but if anything it will help you heal to talk to her about it and how you are feeling and just suggest if the dress fittings can be delayed for a while. The key here is to TALK, TALK TALK.

I wouldn’t make a hastly decision about dropping out just yet, the wedding is still far off and as other posters have mentioned, you certainly dont want to look back and regret not being part of it.

Best of luck to you.

Post # 11
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree with bridetobe7844. Pick up the phone and call your cousin. You’re having a hard time right now, and you need some space from the kinds of activities that will undoubtedly be a part of her planning. If in time you feel better, you could volunteer to help with details and consider attending her wedding as a guest. Until that time, mental and emotional recovery need to be top priority.

Post # 12
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

How far off is the wedding? Is it possible that you just need to take a break from wedding stuff for now but once you’ve had a little more time will be able to participate on the actual day?

Post # 13
92 posts
Worker bee

Be frank to yourelf and your cousin as well/ Tell her how terrible you feel now. I think she will understand you. And don’t feel sad that I know your feeling when I broke up with my bf, I think I will die without him. But time tells me my life is still nice without him. I believe you can do this. Don’t think more. It’s uselessfull to release your pain. Hope you will feel better and be happy again.

Post # 15
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m so glad you got it straightened out.

After my broken engagement I broke down in tears at both a wedding and a wedding shower, It was so awful and I couldn’t handle either so I had to leave both early. I completely know how you feel. ANYTHING wedding related will be difficult for you for a while. BUT the good news is that it WILL get better in time.

Hang in there. Everything happens for a reason and you will find that special someone some day. 🙂

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