Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery
yuck, this situation is awful to be in. As someone who spent wayyyy too long in an engagement that I knew deep inside was not a good place, I can tell you to go with your gut here. If you have these types of deep questions about this relationship, you already have the answer.
I knew I should have ended that relationship. But I spent 7 years knowing the answers to all of my questions about it. I’m so glad I ended it now. You know that you deserve better. You know that your SO would not make a good husband or father. Good luck to you! And thank you for sharing
Post # 17
ignore what he’s saying and look at what he’s doing because that’s how he really feels. He does not want to get married. He should be honest and tell you that but instead he’s stringing you along and confusing you. That’s not right and you don’t and shouldn’t have to put up with that. If I were you, I would end the engagement AND the relationship. This isn’t healthy.
Post # 18
i accidentally clicked no, thinking the question was “should i go through with it.” just so you know that the one “no” vote was meant to be yes, as in yes you should end it.
i could honestly have forgiven the drunk proposing–the drunken mouth does not usually lie–but literally everything after that is BS. i would tell him that since he can’t decide what type of wedding he wants, you’ve decided for him: NOT one. then i’d take that $700 you had planned to put on the small wedding, and move out (if you live together) and take a vacation by yourself. also if it wasn’t clear i’d end the engagement and the relationship simultaneously.
hope it gets better 🙂
Post # 19
This man needs to grow up. He’s telling you what you want to hear to keep you sweet and to stop you from leaving him.
He has no intentions of marrying you and lucky you! Because you do not want to be ties down to this a-whole.
reading your post reminded me of my ex so much! Get out now and hold your head high lady!
Men like this really anger me! Grrrrr
Sorry your going through this sweetie x
Post # 21
Don’t believe what he tells you, believe what he SHOWS you.
This man does not want to marry you, and frankly you deserve better. He sounds like an absolute asshole.
Post # 22
Obviously you’re not happy. Otherwise you wouldn’t be writing here and asking for opinions. If you’re not happy, why are you still with him?
Post # 23
He’s a douche. Listen to your gut and don’t go through with this.
Post # 24
If a man wants to make a woman his wife, he’ll move heaven and earth to make sure she’s his forever. That doesn’t sound like your situation. Put a ring on it dude and lock this girl down if you love her and want her in your life forever! OP, you deserve better than some wishy-washy, spineless man with zero integrity or maturity. Get the heck out before your self esteem plummets and you waste more of your time.
Post # 26
It seems like he can deal with things as abstract, far-future ideas, but when they become real he can’t handle it. Move out, but don’t take him back when he panics because he’s losing you. That’s not an emotional state for either of you to make decisions. Live on your own a while, date other people, and if you can’t live without him specifically and not just a partner, evaluate the situation down the road. Just don’t be swayed by trying to be the “sensitive caring fiancee” and pandering to his emotions. You have needs too. Specifically, in this case you need open communication. If he just shuts down, he’s not mature enough for marriage.
Post # 27
good lord, he sounds manipulative and emotionally abusive! Why on earth would you want to marry this guy? The constant blowing up at you is not ok. Walk away from him immediately.
Post # 29
He is playing games. He do not want to marry you. Yes end your engagement you can do 1000000 times better.
Post # 30
danicaj: Who the heck voted “No?”
MrsHalpert explained that she misread the question, and voted “no” by mistake based on that. So basically it’s unanimous that the OP should get out.