(Closed) Should I end the friendship? (Sorry for the novel)

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4684 posts
Honey bee

Because this is clearly not the first time she’s been so much drama, I would definitely start pulling away from her. You don’t necessarily have to end the friendship, but just stop communicating with her less and less. In my experience, it leaves less hard feelings. 

She’s acting like a child, something my ex-bff would’ve done. The girl drove her 3 best friends and fiance away and still refuses to believe that she’s the problem. I would tell her how much she worried you and call her out on her behavior in a day or two, and then just leave her alone unless she talks to you with an apology. 

Post # 4
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

She sounds really immature. If you want less drama in your life, I would end the friendship and move on. If you had made plans and told her you’d wait for her to have lunch, I could understand her being upset, but as she was going to take awhile longer, I think she probably overreacted. Especially to the point that she knew you were worried about her, but probably enjoyed the attention she gained by ignoring you. If you’re willing to end the friendship, I would. If she brings something to your life that you don’t want to live without, I would keep her as a friend, but it seems the cons outweigh the pros.

Post # 6
Member
8118 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

First happy belated birthday 🙂

Whilst I don’t condone her behaviour- making people worry for no other reason than spite is really immature- I can kind of see why she was upset/hurt.

I don’t know if I would toss her out of my life over this and the other things you posted about. The other two posts are about her personality which you obviously didn’t have much problem with prior to planning a wedding otherwise you would have ended the friendship a longtime ago.

I think you should probably apologise for having lunch without her and that you understand that it hurt her feelings but also let her know how hurt you are by her reaction and how worried you were about her when you couldn’t get in touch with her.

Let her know that if you inadvertently hurt her feelings again that she should let you know. A simple- can you please wait for me for lunch since I am driving all that way specifically to have lunch/spend time with you- would surfice!

Post # 8
Member
1799 posts
Buzzing bee

slowly pull away, I have a friend like this, she used to be my BFF but after being bitchy when I didnt drop what I was doing after her not answering her phone for weeks on end, Ive stopped trying. And now shes more of a “distant friend” and I see the friendship ending on its own, without as many hard feelings.

Post # 9
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Jacqui90:  I would start pulling away from her..cool the friendship off. Stop calling, stop hanging out. I would not answer her calls as often and give short responses to her emails and texts.

I’ve had to pull away from a friend. She had a lot of issues that sound similar to your friend. She does not need to be MOH in your wedding. She will only ruin the experience.

Sometimes in life we grow apart from people. It’s natural.

Post # 10
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No apology! Seriously. That is ridiculous. I could see be mildly annoyed at most that you didn’t wait to have lunch with her, but seeing as how that wasn’t even the main point of the trip, how ridiculous! She owes you an apology! You were fearing for her safety (I have totally done this with MIA friends) and all she was concerned about was making you pay for eating without her?!?! She needs to apologize and grow up.

Post # 11
Member
7872 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I can see why she was upset. If I left at 11.15 for a 1.5 hour drive, that means I’d expect to arrive before 1pm and I’d expect to have lunch with them.

That said, her response was really immature. As someone else said, couldn’t she have texted back for you to wait.

p.s. I’m a bit surprised at your reaction though. I get the impression you know she’s like that, so I think you worried more than necessary. Were you perhaps freaked more than usual because of the horrible Jill Meagher murder?

In answer to the question, no it’s not a friendship ender. But I haven’t read your old posts

Post # 12
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t know. If you don’t want to be friends with her and only have had negative experiences and have only negatives things to say about her and vice versa then let it go.

I think she was being ridiclous. That being said after you said you were going to look for her and she said “don’t bother” . It should have been clear that she wasn’t in any danger so I think it was a bit over the top to be freaking out and considering calling the cops, and having a breakdown. The simple solution if you wre worried is to text/call another friend and to see if she was online/talking to them. Before freaking out and assuming the worst. Is there more to the story something else going on?

I think the questions to ask yourself, Why are you friends? Does she bring only drama/bad things into your life?  Does she bring any good things into your life? What do you bring to her life? Then  based on their answers decided to end or keep the relationship.

Post # 16
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I read back over your posts. While I can understand why she might have been annoyed about missing lunch, her reaction was very immature. Even if she didn’t expect you to becomefrightened she must have known it would upset you and the others. This is emotional blackmail. She ruined a day that was supposed to be about you. Also, the fact that she has not had any remorse is pretty poor form. Has she had any contact with the others in the group since?

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