Should I even be \"waiting\" in our situation?

posted 2 months ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Personally, you guys should move out and live together before marriage. Living with your inlaws rather than on your on is actually a lot harder, trust me, i’ve been there. If you guys can’t afford to be on your own then how can you afford to be married? 

Move out and then talk more seriously about marriage. Get more stable financially first, then get excited. 

Post # 4
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

fairydust91 :  You’re still really young, and you guys should really experience the “real world”. My FI and I lived with my inlaws from when we were 20-23. Boy, did we sure experience how different it is to live together and being on your own. I’m so glad we did. It was really rough the first year but now we are getting married next year and couldn’t be happier.

My point is, make sure you guys are compatible living together before marriage. It is alot easier to leave without a pieice of paper bounding you guys.

Post # 6
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

To be fair, I wasn’t there all the time. Every weekend and by the last year I only went home maybe once or twice a month. 

I feel like the hardest part is dealing with finances. Not being able to buy whatever we wanted before, watching what we spend and sharing it all together. It took us a good year for us to get comfortable and adjust our lifestyles. Also, living on our own I was actually the most surprised about little annoying habits we didn’t see before about each other. 

It’s great to hear you guys are saving money though before moving out. Great plan, just what we did. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

fairydust91 :  OH ya! Ha, be prepared thats all. I was actually surprised myself ;p

 

Thank you! I’m sure once you guys move into your own place things will start falling inline. Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

You say he “knows your timeline,” but have you asked him outright if he’s ready/willing to get married? That is all it really boils down to. If the answer is yes (and it sounds like it is, but maybe he doesn’t have the same sense of urgency that you do?), then it’s just a matter of circumstances being ready (finances, etc). correct? I mean, all an engagement really is is the promise to marry. You can be engaged without a ring and a wedding date.

Post # 11
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

The thing that worries me is how easily you’d be willing to say goodbye if things didn’t go your way. But you say you want to spend the rest of your life with this man. If you love him so much you’d be willing to compromise. I don’t want to sound rude or anything, but it sounds like you have to think about what matters the most. Him or a wedding.

Post # 13
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

fairydust91 :  I did read your whole post. You said how much you love him, but you wouldn’t have a problem ending things if he dragged his feet. 25 is not old. You shouldn’t stress over getting married just because you’re getting older.

Post # 15
Member
961 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

fairydust91 :  I think that the timeline should be altered based on your current situation – you two are both young, and just now establishing your careers. And it doesn’t seem like he’s stalling, ti’s just that you two don’t have the proper foundation yet. With time, it will happen. Enjoy the stage you’re in right now…and then when you get to the next stage of becoming independent / getting your own place together – enjoy that stage too and learn the new dynamics of the relationship. Then, you can start the timeline toward marriage. Good luck OP – it seems like you have a great guy.

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