Post # 1
First, some backround: I was maid of honor in my college roomates wedding the summer after she graduated. Me and anonther Bridsmaid organized and paid for the paties and showers for the Bride. I also paid for my dress, hair, and nice wedding gift for the couple. Well less than a year later, they got divorced. I did my best to stay friends with both of them, but ended up loosing the grooms friendship after a couple of months (long story) and the Bride kinda went crazy being single.
Well about 6 months she started dating this army guy online, and once he came back into town, she pretty much dropped all her old friends and moved in with him. When she became engaged; she sent out fancy paper invites to some of us from her first wedding, but not to me!! I know the best man got one, as i am a good friend of his, and the Bridsmaid who helped me plan everything for her first wedding also got one (but is not attending becuase she is mad at being dropped by the Bride)
As for me, I got a facbook chat wedding invitiitation!!!!! The best man got a “plus one” for his girlfriend of a month, but I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year…and I didn’t get a “plus one.” I was deeply offended.
I feel as though she wasn’t going to invite me in the first place, and i was only an afterthought. Also, I feel slighted for not receiving the same type of invite and plus one, as other wedding party members from the first wedding did. I think it might be because she dislikes my boyfriend for some stupid reason (long story) but that’s no reason to make me suffer, right?
My boyfriend and I are deeply offended by her rude treatment of us!! If I do attend the wedding, I am probably not going to bring a gift… Any advice on how to deal with the situation would be apprciated!! The wedding is March 3rd, as in next month.
Post # 3
I would be offended, it’s clear you’re B-list last minute invite. I wouldn’t go or send a gift/card
Post # 4
I wouldn’t be afraid to confront her, or to not attend at all.
Honestly, if we are the “B” list, I tend to not give people as much money as a gift…It may be petty, but if I’m not on the “A” list than we aren’t as close to warrant the type of gift I would give to a closer friend.
Post # 5
“I feel as though she wasn’t going to invite me in the first place, and i was only an afterthought.”
If this is how you really feel, I don’t believe you should go at all. You either want to try and stay friends with this person or you don’t feel like a friend. And if that’s the case, why go?
And I really don’t suggest going unless you put thought into it and bring a gift. Why show up if your heart isn’t really in it?
Post # 6
I would base the decision on whether or not I wanted to reatain her friendship. If she’s not part of my life, I likely wouldn’t go.
Post # 7
Geesh. A facebook chat invite? That’s pretty bad. I think the questions to ask yourself are
1. Would you have wanted to go to this wedding in the first place? I get the impression that you and your old roommate are not really friends–definitely not close friends–anymore.
2. If you go to the wedding, will you be feeling inwardly offended/resentful the entire time? If the answer is yes, I would say definitely do not go.
Personally, I don’t think it’s fair to accept the invitation and then go to the wedding harboring ill feelings / not giving even a small gift, etc. (Not really sure why you’d be going in that case– to catch up with other friends?) I think you are perfectly justified in turning down the invitation and not sending a card/gift. The way she went about inviting you would make me feel offended as well! My advice is simply to choose your course of action (go/move past the offense or don’t go/be offended) and then stick to it.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t go, if you aren’t happy about going and barely have a relationship with this girl wish her luck with her wedding and marraige and say you can’t attend.
Post # 9
Personally, I wouldn’t go. Like you said it sounds like you were invited last minute. If you decide to go, don’t take your boyfriend. He wasn’t invited so that would be rude on your part.
Post # 10
I agree with the other posters. Just don’t go. Going and bringing your boyfriend would just be spiteful and make you look bad.
Post # 11
Don’t go. You were not invited as the others were. You didn’t even get a formal invitation after everyone else. Life goes on. Friendships come and go. She has moved on with her life. You should do the same. You and your Boyfriend or Best Friend go out to dinner (or whatever the two of you like to do) that same evening if you think not being there will bother you.
Post # 12
i’m going to sound like a witch, but i wouldn’t even rsvp for this wedding. if she calls to follow up, just tell her you didn’t receive an invitation, so you didn’t think you were actually invited. what a classy lady.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t go, the only thing I might do it put a card in the mail on the wedding day to say congratulations.
Post # 14
I think that if you have to ask if you should go, then you shouldn’t.
Post # 15
I wouldn’t go. If you guys don’t even talk anymore, why would you even waste your time or money.
Post # 16
Like PPs said, if you don’t want her in your life then I would definitely not attend.