(Closed) Should I expect her to back out?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow, she is so rude!  I don’t know if I would even want her in my wedding because she seems like she would be passive-agressive the whole time and make it so that you don’t have a good time with any of your events.  Does she have the authority to univite you from the events?  Is she the one who is hosting them?  If not, I would go away if you are able to.  I would try to talk to your FI’s mom about the situation if you think that she is going to have problems with this girl too.  And I hope that you are okay and don’t have to have surgery!

Post # 5
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you should 1- have a long heart-to-heart with your Fiance and his mother about this situation and explain the anxiety it is giving you and 2- With their backing (or without!) kick this person from your wedding party! She sounds poisonous and self-centered. How could ANYONE get upset that you are having medical problems and can’t commit 100% to attending some holiday function?! I want to slap this lady For you! Also, if she pulls her husband and kids from the wedding, have backups! Do you have any other cute kids you know who’d be able to be flower girl and ring bearer for you? Does your Fiance have any other super close friends he could ask? Or maybe just agree to cut the wedding party down by 2- 1 bm (her) and 1 Gm (her husband). And, if you don’t know any other kids, you don’t NEED a ring barer and flower girl, they just add a level of adorable to the proceedings. 🙂


Good luck!

Post # 7
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I 100% agree with rabbit – get on the same page as your Fiance, then hit up Future Mother-In-Law together.  Its so important that your Fiance is on the same page for obvious reasons and will help with the Future Mother-In-Law conversation.  I think you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t no matter what – and I can sure ignore someone better if they arent there and deal with the fallout later. 

This is YOUR and your FI’s day – hopefully it will be a happy and healthy one (best of luck on the last part!).  🙂

Post # 8
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I agree that you need to join forces with your Fiance.  Then go from there.  I don’t know if I agree that the first thing is to simply kick her out.  (Don’t get me wrong.  She’s a Future Sister-In-Law behaving badly.  She needs to have more compassion.)  But I think that it will cause a lot of trouble if you kicked her out.  Sure you don’t want to have someone like this as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  But your wedding will come and go. And the repercussions of kicking her out will probably hurt your Fiance (if not you) for a long time.

With the way she is, I don’t think your Fiance should have pushed her on you so much.  But maybe either he can have a talk with her and talk some sense into her.  Or maybe your Future Mother-In-Law can do this.  Or maybe you’ll luck out and Future Mother-In-Law will understand taking her out of the wedding.  But I would have Fiance try a direct talk with her first.

Post # 9
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i agree with tanya in that i definitely think you need to join forces with your fi. i think i’d deal with this situation separately before even bringing up the wedding or bridesmaid issue. this is really incredibly rude of her, and you have every right to be upset, but i think lumping wedding related issues into this will cause even more drama than she has already started. if she uninvited you, did she also uninvite your fi? if it were me, i’d have fi talk to her and resolve this (ie get her to apologize), and then figure out where you stand on the bridal party issue after you see where things sit.

good luck with your health issues! 

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