(Closed) Should I feel bad?

posted 9 years ago in Los Angeles
Post # 3
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee

I’m glad you were able to let all of that out. I have vented so many times on weddingbee and it helps me sooo much. 

My personal opinion is that you should not feel bad about not having these random kids in your wedding! Its your wedding, if they ever decide to get married her children can be in their wedding. Sorry if that sounds rude or harsh but it seems like some people have no sense. If I had children I would NEVER try and push my kids into a wedding, if they wanted my kids in the wedding, they would ask me!

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i wouldnt feel bad either… if you had bonded with the kids and they were important to you then fair enough but right now you associate them as your brothers girlfriends children (geez thats a mouthful) and you dont feel the connection with them to inlcude them in your weddnig party

vent away

Post # 5
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m in agreement with the other posters; no need to feel bad and if he asks again just say ‘honestly I wanted children who are family, and I won’t consider your girlfriend’s children family unless you are married’.  That will probably shut him up about it.  Seriously, why would his girlfriend even think you would use her kids if you already have young children who are family?  IDk just seems weird to me and so rude to even bring up. 

Post # 6
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I totally agree! Do not feel even the smallest bit bad!  I’m sorry but I totally agree with you and you should not feel bad about not inviting kids you don’t even know to be in your wedding.  I think your brother needs to have a lesson on manners!

 

Post # 7
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

You shouldn’t feel bad at all! This is your wedding and you choose who is in it and who is invited. Personally I don’t think your brother had any business asking you that at all.

Post # 8
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I wouldn’t feel bad necessarily but I think I may know where you brother is coming from. You say that him and his girlfriend are having a child? Well I would think his thinking is that that are starting a family (and I would assume some day get married) and those children of hers are going to also be your nieces/nephews by marriage so maybe in his mind he doesn’t understand why all the other neices and nephews get to be in the wedding and her children don’t.

However, I don’t think I would include them in my wedding either. You hardly know them at this point.

I have a similar situation where my brother is getting married this Oct and my Future Sister-In-Law as a 14 yo daughter who is going to be my “neice”. Well I am having all our nephers (I have 2, FH has 1) in the wedding so in a way I should have my new neice…but I’m not. We are only having a bestman/MOH so I don’t want a junior bridesmaid and she is wayyyyyyy to old to be a flower girl. Your sistuation just reminded me of how I look at my expanding family and your brother might think along those same lines

Post # 9
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think it would be simple enough to tell her that you made the decision when they had only been dating a short time.  No one would argue with that.  You don’t need to say all the other stuff 🙂

Post # 10
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Don’t feel bad! I have 8 nieces and nephews all under the age of 10 and I chose only 1 flower girl and 2 ring bearers, but only because that’s who IIIII wanted! No one pressured me into the decision, but I can tell secretly my brother and sisters are a little upset that not ALL the kids are in the wedding. TOUGH LUCK!! It was them who decided to get pregnant, not me! I shouldn’t have to pay for their decisions (sorry that sounds really harsh) and my wedding is about me! It’s one day!!!

Post # 11
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Don’t feel bad. I bet your bro just brought it up because he told the girlfriend that he would so he was just following through. If she brings it up or something just say that at that point you didn’t know her or the kids. I can’t imagine anyone getting bitter about that!

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