(Closed) Should I feel bad?! Wedding day is same day as someones birthday.

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Don’t feel bad.  Every day is SOMEONE’S birthday!  A card or a little birthday cupcake would be nice.  I don’t think announcing to everyone that it’s her birthday would be necessary unless she likes the attention.

Post # 3
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Contemporary Art Center of Peoria

I think it’s really really hard to choose a wedding date. Trying to line up a venue, photographer, catering, etc is stressful enough. I don’t mean to be blunt, but she’s not your family. So it’s not something you need to worry about. 

If she wants to go “all out” for her birthday and not come to your wedding, then sh*t, her loss! 

But on the flip side, she could be dreading 30 and maybe she would like a distraction? Haha. 😉

Either way, you shouldn’t feel bad. Like you said, no turning back now. If you switched the day to non-holidays, non-long-weekends, non-birthdays, etc, you’d never get married. 

Post # 4
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You are never going to have a wedding date that does not 100% conflict with something.  If it isn’t a birthday, it will be an aniversary, or an obsecure holiday that you didn’t hear about until someone brought it up.

If she isn’t a close friend, I wouldn’t make an anouncment.  If it was a family member or a member of the wedding party, I would do something.  From the sound of it, she wouldn’t be there if she wasn’t a friends date.  In that situation, I wouldn’t want someone announcing my birthday to a crowd of strangers. 


Post # 5
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
LWatson1618:  Like others have said, every date will have a conflict of some sort with someone. I wouldn’t announce or do anything other than wish her happy birthday if you remember on the day of. If it’s a big deal to her, she will RSVP no and you’ll totally understand why.

I am attending a wedding on the weekend one of my best friends is turning 30 – I just couldn’t see saying no to a major life event (sorry – wedding trumps birthday!) of a friend just because it’s someone’s birthday. There’s always a later date that you can celebrate! 

Post # 6
3080 posts
Sugar bee

You get one wedding day. She gets a birthday every year. Don’t worry about it. And don’t bother singling her out for special attention. 

Post # 8
5708 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

You’ll always be searching for a date if you took that into consideration.

Honestly, our wedding day was my MOH’s mom’s 50th birthday and my uncle’s 60th birthday. I purposely placed them at the same tables because my Maid/Matron of Honor made them their own special birthday cake to share 🙂

Post # 9
3971 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
LWatson1618:  Don’t feel bad. My Fiance and I are getting married two days before my best friend’s birthday and three days before my sister’s birthday. Neither even gave it any thought when I selected the date. My friend attended her sister’s wedding on her 21st birthday. She said it was awesome because it was free food, free cake, and an open bar, PLUS the entire family came together to celebrate her birthday and the wedding. 

The way I would look at it is like my friend did: Hey, free cake, food, and booze on my birthday, plus lots of dancing and being surrounded by friends? Couldn’t ask for more! Not everyone does things on their actual birthday, either. I’m sure it’s fine. 

Post # 10
2221 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

I wouldn’t announce it unless she’s the attention type.  Maybe put a birthday card or little extra something at her place at the table?

My date is the night before my future-sister-in-law’s bithday so I hope she wanted a sister this year! 

Post # 11
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Norton Country Club

It was so hard for us to find the “right” date too… only to hear one of my cousins say, “But that’s my birthday!”  I told her I’d bring the cake. if she would come.  She’s actually excited and says she’ll never forget our anniversary this way!

Post # 12
3791 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I wouldn’t. Finding a date is hard. If I had waited until next spring to have our wedding… it would have overlapped with birthdays or other things going on.

A friend of mine got married on her husbands mom’s birthday… so it happens.

Post # 13
7414 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
LWatson1618:  A friend of mine was just a groomsman in a wedding that was on his birthday.  We joked about it pointing out that he got a huge party with his friends on someone elses dime. 

I don’t think it really matters.  I made sure to avoid sibling birthdays and other anniversaries when we picked our date, but it actually wasn’t that hard for us to do.  Even though there are a lot of may dates in my family, they all fell during the week this year so it worked out.

Post # 14
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Cottage on the Creek

lol I went to a wedding on my bday last year. FI’s friend from high school. I was “mad” but sort of jokingly as we usually just go to dinner for my bday and so we went out the night after. I also got free food & booze (via the wedding) and even cake which my Fiance slyly (and quietly/unabtrusively to the wedding) sang me happy birthday with. Overall, great day. I think your friend might make a slight joking comment but I would never ever plan your wedding around birthdays!!!

Post # 15
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

One of my friends had a brithday the day before my wedding.  She is a close friend so most of the peopel there she knew.  BEfore I coudl even say happy birthday, she came to me and said thanks for throwing her a prty with free cake food and booze for all her friends!  Love her!

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