(Closed) Should I feel bad?! Wedding day is same day as someones birthday.

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 16
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

When I read the thread title I was going to say don’t worry about it at all, but it is a milestone, so it’s a tough call. Still though – you shouldn’t plan on doing anything without her input.

She might be dreading turning 30 or she might want to celebrate big time. She might think that having the room sing her happy birthday and receiving a little cake from the bride and groom is the best thing ever or she might die right there from embarrassment. 

Post # 17
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

View original reply
LWatson1618:  I’m getting married on my friend’s birthday (it’s not a milestone one though.)  I’m just going to put a birthday card at her plate and probably a little shout out to her as well (if that won’t embarass her.)  She’s excited for the wedding and has never said anything bad about it being on her birthday.

Post # 18
Member
10286 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I don’t get this whole birthday preciousness. seriously, are we 12? You can’t be expected to plan a wedding around everyone’s birthdays. 

There is always the night before your wedding if she wants to celebrate this “milestone”.  

Post # 19
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2000

Every day is the same day as someone’s birthday.

Post # 20
Member
13639 posts
Honey Beekeeper

If someone wants to throw her a party or go away for a weekend, or celebrate in style,  I’m  sure they can  manage to  delay their gratification by a week or even two or three, heaven forbid.   What would they have done if her bday was during the middle of the week?  

Post # 21
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

I would probably just acknowledge to her that it’s going to be her birthday and that you totally understand if she’d rather not attend and celebrate her own day, but you’d be delighted if she were there! I wouldn’t do anything to celebrate just for her, though. Maybe put a card at her place setting, but nothing for the whole reception to see/hear/experience.

 

Post # 22
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

You could maybe put a little note in with the invitation if you haven’t already sent them? Or a facebook message. Nothing major, just a little “Just realised that our wedding is on your 30th! Sorry about that! We understand if you’re planning something else, but if not then we’re looking forward to celebrating our milestones together with plenty of booze and cake!”.

Post # 23
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My aunts birthday was the same day as our wedding; I asked her if she minded, and she said of course not.  After our cake cutting, we presented her with a birthday cupcake and the whole room sang happy birthday.  It was nice to give her a little attention, and it made her feel special.

<br />I was also recently at a friends wedding whose cousin’s birthday was that day. Same thing – little birthday cupcake and the whole room sang.  

As both the bride and a guest, both of these were a special way to honour someone on their birthday, and in neither case did it detract from the wedding. I recommend it, if she does decide to attend!

Post # 24
Member
909 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

My (destination) wedding date is the day before my sister’s 19th birthday.  She’s been pouty but honestly, she’ll be 19, not 10, she can get over it.  It is also my FI’s and my 4-year dating anniversary (so she knows I didn’t just pick that Saturday to take away from her).  I’m not sure what we’re doing yet but she gets to celebrate her birthday at a destination location with her family and boyfriend (and a few of her friends), we’ll probably have a small cake or something for her and of course I’ll get her some kind of gift.  That week is also both of my grandparents’ birthdays and my sister’s boyfriend’s birthday.  Big birthday week, and if they would rather stay at home and celebrate their birthdays they are more than welcome to, otherwise they’ll be at my wedding location celebrating with everyone and enjoying the vacation.  

Post # 25
Member
846 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

My wedding is a week after FIs birthday and the day after my brothers birthday. Since the rehearsal is on brothers birthday my sister in law asked if I would mind if she brought a cake for him.. and I said definitely not 🙂 it is my day but I can share a few minutes for his birthday. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Well all be on vacation in Florida in December so I think it’s worth it haha

Post # 26
Member
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Not rude. You wouldn’t be mad if a friend did that to you, right?  Our wedding was on my cousin’s birthday. We had a small jazz band during  cocktail hour and planned so that when she walked in, they played a quick “happy birthday” song. It was a  cute acknowledgement without being a full announcement (Which she would have felt awkward about in front of our huge wedding).

Side story– A family friend had an anniversary on our wedding day and their reception was at the same place. The DJ did a quick shout out to them late in the evening. I didn’t really care, but I remember it being strange and I still have no idea who told the DJ to do it. Lol

Post # 27
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My friend had her wedding on her sister’s boyfriend’s birthday.  They brought a little cake during the wedding reception and sang to him.  It was super cute.  

Post # 28
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee

It happens. we share our anniversary with DH’s aunt. My sister shares her bday with a friend’s anniversary.

Post # 29
Member
495 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
LWatson1618:  I wouldn’t worry about it.  If she isn’t a super close friend, she will make the decision if to attend your wedding or not.  She should be old enough to understand.  You shouldn’t need to make an announcement at the reception for her.  It is your special day and you only get married once (supposed to anyway!!)  I had a cousin at my wedding and it was his birthday, and I was so busy I forgot it was his birthday until I said a breif hello to him at the reception! It wasn’t awkward or anything.  If she wants a party for her birthday, she can always celebrate it on another day, but i’m sure it will be much harder for you to change your dates, and even if you did, it may mean its someone elses birthday you haven’t realised, or it could even mean people not being able to attend on the other date due to other reasons! 

Post # 30
Member
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
LWatson1618:  It’s a little unfortunate that it’s a major birthday (30th), but adults should be used to celebrating their birthday on a different to their actual birthday. My last major birthday was midweek.

I think you definitely should do a little something for her birthday during the reception. It’s no big deal to move the spotlight for a minute. No need for cake, but I think it’s appropriate to say something during one of the speeches. Again, only because it’s a major birthday.

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