Post # 1
about 6 months before my wedding, I found out my fiancé had saved an escorts number on his phone. Long story short, he said it was an accident and that he didn’t even realize the number had been saved. I belihind him. When I first found out though, I was extremely upset and distraught and at the time my sister and I were very close. I had told her what happened, and said I know my husband would never cheat but that I was hurt I had found it. I cried and asked for advice.
My sister and I no longer speak to each other ( its a very long story) and were not on good terms. I’m worried she may tell family members what I told her, when I confided in her. More than ever I feel like I should tell my husband that at the time I confided on my sister.
i feel so guilty because I feel like I’m hiding something from my husband and its driving me crazy. But I don’t know if I’m just being over dramatic about this whole situation..
Post # 3
I don’t think you did anything wrong by telling your sister. You needed someone to confide in and you were close. Hopefully she’ll be mature enough to keep it to herself.
Post # 4
you definately have NOT done anything wrong to feel guilty.
Post # 5
You haven’t done anything wrong, but I can imagine the feeling of guilt. To be perfectly honest, if you’ve forgiven him, it may be fair to warn him that others may know. He has no right to get mad at you for it, but if it happens to come out of nowhere that others know, it’d be a bit cruel.
Post # 6
You didn’t do anything wrong..you just spoke to someone when you needed to? Just tell your FI that you spoke to your siser about the situation. If it was accidental that he had the escort numbers, he hasn’t got anything to worry about and neither have you.
Post # 7
I would tell your FI that you spoke to your sister just in case she does decide to tell someone, but hopefully she is mature enough to keep that secret, whether you’re are or aren’t on good terms.
Post # 8
How dare you not be able to see the future and know every single thing that is going to happen!
Seriously, you didn’t know a falling out would happen. Hopefully she won’t be petty about things, but you might want to mention it to your husband “by the way soandso knows, I was really upset at the time.” Just so if she DOES decide to take the low road, he’s aware it could happen.
Unless she is scum of the earth though, she hopefully won’t go blabbling your secrets.
Post # 9
Thank you bees for the advice
i will be telling my husband, I’m just really saddened. I don’t want him to feel embarrassed or ashamed. And it hurts me that I may have caused him those feelings. I was just really distraught.
Post # 10
@unknow123: Please stop beating yourself up over this! It is NOT your fault. Seriously, any woman who found what you did would be super upset and I would’ve done the same as you in telling my sister. Stop worrying so much about your FI feeling ashamed, he’s a grown man and can take care of himself. If anything, he definitely should NOT have had a prostitute’s phone number on him in any shape or form to begin with. Period. I would tell him that you told your sister and that you’re concerned since you aren’t on good terms she might spill the beans. But regardless, there is no such thing as secrets in this world – everything will come out eventually. Your FI needs to suck it up and take responsibility for his choice in having a prostitute’s phone number at all. You should NOT take ownership over his mistakes, even his embarassed feelings if other people find out what happened.