(Closed) Should I feel guilty about TTC due to my job?

posted 7 years ago in TTC
  • poll: Should I feel guilty?

    Yes you should feel guilty

    No you should not feel guilty at all

    Other.. I will explain below

  • Post # 16
    4687 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

    Don’t feel guilty! I got hired at 21 as a high school teacher in NY, but waited til I was way older to have kids (30 and not TTC yet). I had things I wanted to get done and I wanted to get tenure to ensure longevity in my career.

    Sidenote: I am super jelly at anyone able to take off more than 6 weeks. That’s all I get! (And I am a Profesionally Certified teacher tenured for  years, AND  a member of a great union!).

    My country does NOT care for its working mothers. UGH So frustrating.



    Post # 17
    1297 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    View original reply
    kfiorita:  As a teacher in Aust also I can definitely say you don’t need to feel guilty. Principals are very used to young female staff going on leave to have their babies. He/She knows what they are doing when they are offering you permanency. You are obviously a long term prospect for the school. Enjoy this time and don’t feel guilty at all. Take the job for sure!! yku have worked hard and permanency is not always easy to come by!

    Post # 18
    453 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    View original reply
    kfiorita:  If this is the norm where you live, I’m sure the principal offered you the job knowing full well this could be the possibility.

    According to your timeline, by the time you begin TTC, you’ll have been there for a year. Keep in mind it may not happen right away, so by the time you actually have the baby and go on maternity leave you may well be passing the two year mark. That’s quite awhile.

    Post # 19
    849 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    lealorali:  Ha, ha. That chart makes it look like its a breeze in the UK. 280 days at 90% pay……if your full pay is under minimum wage. Otherwise its capped at £138.18 per week….which is more like 10% of my pay! I’m not complaining, something is better than nothing, but I do laugh at how data is displayed and how good it looks like we get it from that chart!


    Post # 20
    4673 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    If a year is norm in your country then you should try not to feel guilty about it.  The person that hired you understands government laws and has probably delt with this before.  

    Oddly enough, for this reason, I’m sort of glad the US has lacking maternaty leave laws.  I’m just finishing up my education for teaching in Kindergarten and early primary grades. As much as I will love my own when he or she comes, I don’t think I could handle being on maternaty leave for a year or more, and being away from all the kiddos.  Especially at this point in my career.  Also, it sounds like woman in countries with longer maternity leave always take it.  

    View original reply
    kfiorita:  You mentioned that some teachers are able to go part time after coming back to work after having their LO’s.  How does this work?  I suposse in high school, when you are only teaching one subject it would be easier, by as a teacher in the primary grades, where you are responsible for a set group of students from the beginning of school to the end how does this work?  Sorry for the off subject question, I’m just curious.  

    Post # 21
    2782 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I totally understand.  I started my current job in July of last year,  but that was on a contract. They made me perm about a month ago, and we plan to start TTC this month.  At first I felt guilty bc I asked to be made perm, and I thought I’d look like a jerk going in a few months later and saying “btw-taking a year off now!”. But really,  it’s a business.  If it didn’t benefit them to keep you,  they wouldn’t think twice about getting rid of you…and so you shouldn’t put your life on hold for them. 

    Plus, it’s unlikely you would get pregnant right away,  so by the time you do and actually go on leave you will have been there around two years.  Totally acceptable. 

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