(Closed) Should I feel gulity, am I wrong!?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I prob wouldnt have changed my plans for the Rehearsal Dinner. Its not her fault other peoples dates got mixed up and she had plans. I understand you wanted her there for the Rehearsal Dinner and are upset that she went away this summer but I think the key thing for brides to remember is that other people have a life outside of your wedding.

Post # 5
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Personally – if I was your sister, I’d be a little ticked too.  She scheduled her plans around the wedding things you set.  She chose a day when nothing was planned to get together with her Boyfriend or Best Friend and his family and now she is being forced to cancel on them last minute because you changed your plans on her.  I think she has every right to be upset.

Even if you needed to move the rehearsal to Thursday, why not do it in the evening so she can still go hiking and then come to the rehearsal afterwards?  IMO, you aren’t being very considerate of her plans.

I know this isn’t what you were hoping to hear, but I do think you are in the wrong.

Post # 6
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Honestly, I kinda agree that she shouldn’t really HAVE to change her plans for the rehersal dinner. It’s not her fault the days were mixed up with his parents and she obviously set time away so that she would be able to do it on the day that you had previously planned it for. You just said that she should make it a point to be there, YES you are right she should be there, which she has already done, so honestly I think it’s unfair for the date to be changed and for her to have to drop her other plans now for it. It is VERY important I agree but I am kinda on her side..

Post # 8
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I really agree with FutureKMM. I think it’s rather inconsiderate to make her cancel her plans when she obviously made them to avoid interfering with your original rehearsal time.

Post # 9
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Bottom line, its a stinky situation. 

She’s your sister and your Maid/Matron of Honor so yes, she should be there for you at the drop of a hat. 

However, its also a bit unreasonable for you to suddenly change plans and demand/expect her to change hers to accomodate you. 

I would try to act nicely and simply say, You are my sister and my Maid/Matron of Honor and a huge part of my life.  I am sorry for the mix up and change in plans but I really hope that you will be able to be there to support us as we prepare for our wedding. 

If she chooses not to, there isn’t much you can do. 

Post # 10
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

As mentioned here already, i think you are in the wrong. She waa set to be there by your side and you changed the plans (I understand why you did…but still) She was ready to be there and made plans at a time that was convienent for you…YOU changed them so i dont see why she has to drop everything. Her heart is there.

And remember just because they have the title of Maid/Matron of Honor for a few months doesnt mean they no longer have the title of Girlfriend, sister, daughter, co-worker, friend etc. My Maid/Matron of Honor didnt come to my shower (meaning she didnt host it either…) she didnt even send a gift…and i didnt think twice about it! These are people too!! 😛

Post # 11
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Well, she DID keep her plans open for you, and you changed them at the last minute (you mentioned wanting her to keep her plans open for you). If she’s been abroad all summer, this hiking trip is probably a big deal to her. I think at this point, you should try to reschedule the rehearsal around her trip. If your wedding isn’t until Sunday, I don’t see what the rush is? Can’t you just separate the rehearsal and the dinner if it is so important that she be there? You could do the rehearsal later in the week.

Post # 12
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I agree mostly with PP. While it would’ve been really nice of her to cancel her plans to help you out just to be a good friend… I don’t really feel like she should have to. Your FI’s family messed up their plans and really it doesn’t seem like it’d be that hard to tell them where to stand or what to do. 

Post # 14
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Adnama54: I think if you’re still worried about your sister then just apologize. Tell her you were stressed because your Fiance fam messed up the dates and you were having to reschedule everything and you just took it out on her. I’m sure she’d understand and I think an apology could go a long way.

Post # 16
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree with Camrie. I would apologize to Maid/Matron of Honor. It would do a lot of good in this situation I think, especially since the drama was for nothing. Especially since you’re sister, she should understand.

FYI: I’m not having a rehearsal either. I’m also not having a bridal shower. Just bachelorette party, wedding and honeymoon. 🙂

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