Should I file for divorce?

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
1392 posts
Bumble bee

I’m concerned about your comments about the dog and children. I don’t want to hear more about this honestly, because I can’t stand reading/knowing about animal cruelty, but if this man hits or screams at the dog or children, he needs to go. That IS a dangerous man. Barring all that, you’re clearly unhappy. Take your dog out of this situation, please, and leave. 

Post # 17
Member
308 posts
Helper bee

I feel like you already know what you need to do. So I’ll just say this… every extra day you remain in this relationship is robbing you of happiness. As another PP said you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Don’t continue to be unhappy. Best of luck!

Post # 18
Member
3515 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry. Yes, you should definitely file for divorce, the sooner the better. Living with this man is already beating you down. He’s just another garden variety religious hypocritical asshole, he’s nothing special, and he isn’t going to change. You will feel better when he’s not in your life, you just have to be brave now and make the jump.

Post # 19
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

I am so sorry Bee. Hugs to you. You know what you have to do.

Post # 20
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2000

Hugs…..just hugs 😣

Post # 21
Member
298 posts
Helper bee

Oh bee, I feel for you. Don’t let this go on any longer. Call your lawyer today. Oher posters have offered great advice re: making sure your ducks are in a row. Be strong. You deserve more than what this man can give you.

Post # 22
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

Wow you don’t deserve that.  He is not helping to create a healthy and loving environment for you at all.  So I’ll say what you know I’ll say-leave!  He is scum!

Post # 23
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

So, so sorry. You sound completely worn out. Divorce this waste of space. You deserve to be loved and cherished. 

Post # 24
Member
2950 posts
Sugar bee

Before you tell him you want a divorce…

Find an attorney and engage them.

Lock down all your passwords with separate, complex passwords. Use Lastpass to generate and keep track of them.

Put two step verification on everything that offers it.

Open a new bank account at a separate bank and redirect your direct deposit to it.

Lock down your credit with all three credit bureaus so he cannot open any accounts in your name. 

Get a new phone wirh a new account and a new number. Do not give it to him.

Get all your important documents gathered and put them in a safe place he does not have access to (office, parents’, etc.). Same with anything super important to you (computer, photos, precious physical items). Find someone to keep your dog safe for you 

Find a new place to live (at least temporarily). Do not tell him where.

Arrange for people to be there when you tell him or have divorce papers served after you have moved out (while he is at work).

Post # 25
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Wanting to leave is enough!

Ignoring all the other unacceptable behavior, you found him on dating sites 4 or 5 times! If you wernt married and found your boyfriend on dating sites you would break up with him. He’s obviously actively looking for someone else! So 200 percent yes, if you find your significant other on any dating site ever, leave! And 4-5 times, I’m so sorry bee! 

Don’t tip him off, meet with a divorce lawyer and see how they recommend you proceed. 

Post # 26
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2020

Definitely time to get out. Men who feel comfortable turning to dating sites after saying vows are not husband material.

Post # 27
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

zl27 :  this is great advice. My friend got screwed over by not doing this when leaving her abusive husband. 

OP: I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. Definitely leave, but be safe doing it. Everyone deserves better than what this guy is giving.

Post # 29
Member
1453 posts
Bumble bee

In my experience, when i hear this:

He has made me not want to have children, because I don’t think I could raise kids with him. 

It’s been over for a while. 

Post # 30
Member
36 posts
Newbee

You don’t want to spend another minute with him thinking you should have left sooner. Leave now. Being on those apps IS cheating. My heart goes out to you, friend. 

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