(Closed) Should I find a new MOH?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

 Talking with her might be best. Tell her while you would still LOVE to have her as your Maid/Matron of Honor, that you undestand she has family problems to deal with so you want to make sure she know that you will not be offended if she can’t forfill that role.

Post # 4
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I agree withe blurspurrs.  Wait for something to come up in conversation about her daughter or boyfriend and then gently say something to the effect of you know how hard it must be for her right now, and if there’s anyhthing you can do… and that you totally understand if she wants to back out of the Maid/Matron of Honor role.  But then be prepared for her to get upset if she thinks you’re trying to ask her to step down because YOU are worried she won’t have enough money for the parties.  If you aren’t careful, she could see it that way instead of as you looking out for HER.

Post # 5
3332 posts
Sugar bee

I think I’d do what Bluespurrs suggested, speak to her and say something like "I’d totally understand if you’d prefer to step down from the wedding with everything else going on".  I’d leave it up to her, if she wants to step down, then I’d ask another friend.  If she says "No, I’m still in" then I’d take her word.  She may be so stressed that this would take a load off of her, or she might be looking forward to doing something fun and happy for a change.  I’d leave it up to her to make the choice.

Post # 6
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I think it’s fine to ask her if she can still do this or has to back down.  Maybe with these serious illnesses it’s about not being able to go t oMexico because she needs to stay home and take care of her family.

With two months before your wedding, is the shower not already set?  Perhaps someone else can throw the shower together for you, without shaking things up so dracstically.  Also, I would perhaps think about letting go of some of the other prewedding festivities.  A bachelorette isn’t a Bp requirement.  I’m not sure if the girls’ night was the same event or a separate event.  But that might have to go too.

Post # 7
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Why can’t she still be the Maid/Matron of Honor and you ask one your friends to host the bach party or a shower?  The Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t have to be the one to host these events. 

I would ask her if she would like for you to have one of your friends help with planning.  I wouldn’t ask her to step down as Maid/Matron of Honor.  Unless she says she can’t do it.


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