Post # 1
Ok bees, please help me out bc i have been putting this on the back burner. The last time I went to my venue I met the wedding planner that is included in our wedding package with them. He was very expressive and said something to me that really turned me off.
I have my heart set on garden-style centerpieces for the tables- he told me they HAD to be tall otherwise the room would have a void. I said I didnt mind the void if it meant sacrificing my flower choice. We went back and forth a few times and eventually he got snippy and said “well do you have a design degree?” I was shocked and got red i nthe face and basically walked away.
My fiance got a checklist email from him today and he confronted him about what happened. He *sort of* apologized but with a bunch of excuses as to why he said it. And then just said “if you dont want to use my services that is fine” blah blah
What do you think bees? Get rid of him completely? Or do i really need this planner? help!!!!
Post # 3
I don’t know what else you have going on in your life, so I can’t tell you if you need a planner or not. However, I’d probably get rid of him because I don’t personally see what a planner does that I cannot (not knocking it for others, just explaining my perspective), and I think his comment was really rude. It is your wedding after all, and I think your vision trumps his. IDK though. 🙁 Good luck!
Post # 4
WOW!! That would piss me off so much! If I were you, I’d fire him. I wouldn’t be able to get over that. He’s in a service industry and he should know better!
Post # 5
I’d definitely get rid of him. It’s your wedding, your day, and your dollars. Until his design degree can get into your head and figure out what you want, it’s just a useless piece of paper. He has to understand that while you’ll take his suggestions into consideration, his word is not gospel. I’d probably just bring someone else in.
Post # 6
I agree. I’m really negged out and I dont see how I can deal with him on my wedding day. My fiance sorta tried to smoothe it over in case we need help up until the day- but i think right before hand i’ll tell him not to come lol
Post # 7
He was really rude and I’d be hurt too! I think give it some time to think about whether you want him or not. Don’t be afriad to get rid of him if that’s your preference as no one should have to tolerate that sort of rude service.
Post # 8
I would try to meet with him in person and see if we can work out our differences.
I would need a committment from him to treat me respectfully in the future.
There is absoutely no need for tall centerpieces to “fill the void”. After all, no matter how tall the centerpieces are, unless they go right to the ceiling, there is still going to be a void.
If we couldn’t come to a working arrangement, I would ask to meet with his manager to see if someone else was available or if there is another solution to the problem.
Post # 9
Yep. im gonna think about it a bit more.. thanks ladies!
Post # 10
If it’s included in your package I would want to utilize that, but I think I would talk to the owner/manager of the venue your package is through and let him know about the planners ‘attitude’. If it didn’t change I would definitly be requesting a new one. Good luck!
Post # 11
I work at a private club that hosts weddings for members. We often have a clash or a difference between the bride/groom and the planner. If I were you, I would simply write a letter to the manager/exec. director and tell them that you would like another planner, as you don’t seem to be able to bond with this one. They should bend over backwards to get you another one. Honestly, if he had done that where I work he would no longer have a job.
Post # 12
A void where???? I don’t understand that comment. Completely uncalled for on his part. I probably would have come back with, “have you ever been a bride?” Every designer has to make his client happy or he’s not a good designer.
I agree with a PP that you should meet with him in person, and if you can’t come to an agreement, then let him go. But remember, he’s familiar with your venue, and he probably has a lot of vendor contacts that could be valuable to you.
Post # 13
The void between the ceiling and the tables. i understood what he meant (and told him that) but didnt care much about it. he basically bickered with me and then spit that last comment in my face. my mother and fiance were shocked too
Post # 14
@flyinpig3: I figured that’s what he meant, but who cares? No one is going to walk into your reception and say, “OMG, look at that void between the tables and the ceiling! This is the worst reception ever because of that void.” He needs some perspective of what real receptions are all about.
I would talk to the venue management about his comment, because they need to know how he is treating their customers.
Post # 15
Granted this is the extreme of things, but here’s what happened to me when I worked with a venue coordinator who didn’t like my ideas.
She didn’t like that I was DIYing so much including decorations, centerpieces, and flowers because, from what I inferred, we wouldn’t be using her people. Anyway, she ended our meeting with her OFFERING to find someone to do my hair (we were getting married 2.5 hours away), call the band she told us about (wouldn’t give us the info), give the cake lady an idea about what we wanted, tell us the wines and beer the venue could get, and tell the chef our food choices.
Less than 6 weeks before our wedding (planned in 3.5 months); no hair stylist, no band, no cake, no beer or wine list, but the food was taken care of. We tried and tried to call and email her. Nothing. It was awful. Finally, we got her boss to call us after leaving a message for his boss, but the band was no longer available and I didn’t have someone to do my hair.
I loved our wedding, but the stress leading up to it was awful for my husband and I. The big thing for him was the band, beer, and wine. Again, this is the extreme, but it’s like she decided we were below her so she didn’t need to do her job or follow through on her promises.
Post # 16
For his sake maybe he was just trying to tell give you the best wedding he could. But he did it in a very ass-hole way.
He is right, you probably don’t have a design degree. So tell him that you are mad about what he did and that even though he may know more, its YOUR WEDDING! So he can either listen and cooperate, or you will let him go. That might shock him.