posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Ok well if someone told me I was “fired” from being in their wedding I’d laugh too.

I’d definitely be cutting her loose though. I understand that people have lives and get caught up with other stuff, but there has to be a point where you meet halfway. If she’s not meeting you halfway it’s time to tell her not to worry about it anymore, you’ll find someone else.


Post # 4
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Were you clear with your bridesmaidsa about what your expectations were?  For some people it really does end with “show up on the day in the appropriate dress” and that’s all they’re looking for. 

That said, if you haven’t spoken to her in months and every time you call to speak about anything (wedding related or not), it sounds like you may not be friends anymore??

Post # 5
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Some of my bridesmaids have been less than helpful. It sucks and at first hurt my feelings, but I am the first to get married in my group and I’m just determined to be super helpful when they all get married. It sucks but some people just don’t think a wedding is as important as others. I’d say stay friends and grin and don’t let her rain on your parade!

Post # 6
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Well, you can’t fire her because she is not an employee. She is your “friend”. I have flaky friends that I expect this kind of behavior from, was she like this before? Is it possible she is legitimately busy with work/life? Also, I think whoever you ask to sub in for her is going to feel like a second class citizen so if you do “fire” this girl I would not try to replace her.

Post # 7
17 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

i would have fired her ass too! and you are paying for the dresses? all she has to do is show up a few times, and she can’t even do that?

with the ability to text message and all, there is no excuse as to why she has not contacted you; and the fact that she laughed in your face says alot about how she sees you as a friend! 

you don’t need her in your wedding, or you life for that much!

Post # 8
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’d fire her… I’m days away from firing my Maid/Matron of Honor for the same issue.

Post # 9
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@samora:If she has a dress, just have her wear it. I had a bridesmaid who wasn’t able to keep up with most o fthe wedding stuff, but she’s important to me and been there for me during other SH**.

Day of, I was really glad she was there even though she missed the planning stages.

Post # 10
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

What on earth is there for her to be in touch and having so many e-mails and voice messages about? As long as she knows the right times for when to show up for everything she should be good, right?

And you don’t fire bridesmaids and replace them with someone else, the second person would feel shitty for basically being a sub and your last resort, and rightfully so.

Post # 11
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Fire her?   is she employed by you or something?   is she on pay?   LOL


absolutely ditto to that….


I’m gonna get shot at for this,  but never has this been more true to say…..

you only have ONE wedding day,   you cant boss people around a year before your wedding JUST because they are going to be a bridesmaid for you. 

what do you want from them? 


Post # 12
36 posts
  • Wedding: July 2009

Any chance that she’s swamped at work?  I see that you two went to law school together, and if she’s working at a firm (or anywhere, for that matter) in this economy, she’s probably busting her butt just to keep her job.

I wouldn’t fire her.  She obviously has something going on in her life and needs your understanding.  Yes, you have something going on, too — but it’s a wedding.  One day.  I agree with anneB.  You can’t just run her life for a year because you’re getting married.

Post # 13
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would call her and tell her you need to talk to her right away about her dress.  If she doesn’t respond, then you have your answer.

Post # 14
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Well, my friends that went to law school still at large firms are working crazy insane hours.  Did you ever ask to find out what’s going on in her life?

As a side, I never understand why so many people post that they want to “fire” their bridesmaids.  If they’re close enough of a friend to ask to be a bridesmaid, how does it go downhill so rapidly that people are unwilling to forgive?  Or why pick people in the first place that you aren’t close to?

Post # 15
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I COMPLETELY agree with @courtney1188 and @anne B.


What are you actually asking her to do through your many voicemails/emails????  Just because you’re a bride doesn’t make you her boss.  A bridesmaid (I assume) is one of your best friends, whom you love no matter what, otherwise you shouldn’t have asked her in the first place.  I would laugh at you too for firing a best friend — figure out what’s going on in her life before you make crazy-drama-firing decisions.

Post # 16
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Why on earth are you trying to replace her with 4 weeks to go? If the person you would replace her with wasn’t a close enough friend to ask to begin with, it’s pretty insulting to ask them now. Your bridesmaids are not warm bodies who fill slots standing next to you to make even numbers – they are representatives of the people who mean the most to you in your life.

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