(Closed) Should I get a new dress? Advice needed!

posted 9 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
773 posts
Busy bee

WOW.  Just WOW.  First off all, I would address this with the Future Sister-In-Law and let her know how unacceptable it is that she did that.  


If it were me, I’d probably get a new dress, because it would be important to me that my dress be a secret, and I would show the dress to no one.  Can you wear your original dress to the reception maybe? 

Post # 4
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Keep your dress. 

Seeing you in a little picture is not going to come any where near to ruining seeing you come down the aisle all done up and radiant.  Besides, most people wouldn’t even be able to pick the dress they saw out of a line up.  It’s a glowing bride that makes the dress, not vice versa.  Everything will be fine and you will knock everyone’s socks off regardless of whether or not they got a sneak peak. 

Post # 5
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

if your groom didn’t see it, and if it doesn’t matter to you that those people have seen it, I would still wear the dress.  Personally, my dad, mom, sisters and bridesmaids have seen me in my dress and I’m ok with that.  It’s not your mom’s decision, and if you love your dress then I def. wouldn’t change it just for that reason.  If my fiancee saw my dress i’d consider changing it, but other than that it wouldn’t matter to me, but like I said, it’s a personal decision, you wouldn’t be wrong either way. 

Post # 6
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I thought the only person for whom it really matters is the groom.  It’s only your SIL’s and your Dad, so I guess my feeling is that it’s not a huge deal.  If this is the dress you fell in love with, then my feeling is that’s more important than the fact that a couple of family members have seen you in it already.  If you think abuot it, your dad never really sees the grand entrance anwyay b/c he’s with you.  And besides, most likely he’ll be blown away seeing his daughter dressed up ready to get married no matter what…even if you were wearing a potato sack it probably wont’ change the moment for him.  And I guess my feeling is that if you didn’t mind one SIL seeing it, why should it matter that the others have?  I would request that she not show the pictures to anyone else.  but I’m guessing that it probably didn’t occur to her not to show the other SIL’s since she’s seen it.

Post # 7
3331 posts
Sugar bee

I can’t believe she would do that without your permission!  I would be so upset!  If it were me, I’d still wear my original dress, because it was the one that I fell in love with and picked out.  I wouldn’t want to rush another decision just because people had seen it already, even if my mom was upset.

Have you talked to your SIL about what she did?

Post # 8
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Definitely keep it, don’t let her spoil this for you.  You haven’t been seen all done up, and your groom hasn’t seen you, so don’t stress about trying to find a new gown, you don’t need to.

Post # 9
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I really wouldn’t worry about this. A ton of my family and friends saw me in my dress (at fittings, trying on at home, etc.) before the big day.  No worries!  The whole "package" only comes together on the day of (makeup, hair, veil, jewelry) – believe me, the pics of you trying on your dress after a day at work, your hair in a ponytail and smudgy makeup (that was me anyway!) will not even compare to how it will all look on your wedding day.

Don’t let your SIL change your mind about your wedding dress!

Post # 10
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wow sorry to hear she shared your pics without your consent. If you love your dress i say go with it. The whole day is going to boil down to you and your fiance being married reguardless of what dress you wear.

Post # 11
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Clearly you’re upset that she did this and it’s important to you that not many people see you in your dress before the wedding. That being said, you’re going to look so much different on your wedding day when you’re all done up. I’m just assuming that you don’t have your hair/make-up done in these pics. You definitely need to express to your Future Sister-In-Law how much this upset you. She can’t take back what she did, but maybe she didn’t think it would be such a big deal. Should she have checked with you? Yes. But unless she’s some malicious woman with a hidden agenda, I don’t think she meant any harm by it. Stealing your thunder would be if she showed up to your wedding in a wedding dress. I don’t think buying a whole new dress is needed.

Post # 12
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I am not sure why it matters that your family saw you in it. Didn’t your sisters and/or father go with you to try on dresses? Now, if she sent a pic to your Fiance I would see the issue, but that still wouldn’t make me change my dress. It’s just a dress. They haven’t seen how happy you’ll be in on the day of. Relax, it’s just not that big of a deal.

Post # 13
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

I think she was presumptuous to send around a picture of you in your dress.  But, what does it matter if family member saw you in your dress?  I sent pics of me in my dress to a few family members (and a few friends!)  In My Humble Opinion the only person that it would matter if he/she saw me in my dress before my wedding is my Fiance.

I don’t think it will spoil anything at all if you keep it.  I might say something to your SIL about how you wished she hadn’t done that, but I also don’t think it is worth starting World War III over.

Post # 15
2640 posts
Sugar bee

 I agree with what’s been said.  If you love your dress, stick with it.  If yo don’t care and your mom paying for it is a good way to try to find something you mgiht like better, OK for that too. 

I’m not sure what your Future Sister-In-Law had in mind when she showed the pics to her family.  I’m not sure if I’d just throw her under the bus.  She might not have been thinking too clearly.  I guess seeing that they are her sisters… maybe she swore them to secrecy.  Why the dad… I don’t know.  I’m not sure why he’d care too much.  I think your mom might be getting carried away a bit, as long as your Fiance hasn’t seen it.  I mean since your families are going to be joined, I don’t know this is worth having a family feud.  When I went dresss shopping with my SIL, I later showed my mom, what the dress looked like, online.  Well I couldn’t find the exact dress, just a similar one.  Anyway, maybe they were just excited to see what it looked like.

And I agree, you will look really different in it on your wedding day.  NO frumpy hair pony tail holder -gym socks on, no make up etc.  (Anyone else try dresses on that way?)

Post # 16
1428 posts
Bumble bee

She had no business doing that, I’d be upset too. But, if you love your dress (which I’m assuming you do 🙂 then I would keep it.
Like other bees have said, on your wedding day with your hair/make-up/jewelry all together, you’re going to look beautiful.
I went with my friend so see her dress months before her wedding, and while she loved it, I was like eh…not really my style…BUT I could see how much she loved it.
On her wedding day, it looked breathtaking on her with her hair & make-up done, her shoes, etc. It made me forget I had even seen it before.

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