Post # 16
I think this also bothers me because she really has no relationship with my mom. Sure, she and my brother have visited my parents here and there, but in the span of their 5 year relationship, she has never hung out with my mother one-on-one.
I don’t think anyone should demand that someone throw them a shower, but I think my SILs behavior would be a little more forgivable if she actually WAS close or had some sort of relationship with my mom.
Post # 17
Your poor mom. I can’t believe your SIL is acting so entitled. I think you need to talk to your brother. If they claim they don’t have any time, then suggest throwing them a “sprinkle” (baby shower after baby is born) in your home state. It’s absurd to expect your mom to shell out money for a shower she didn’t even agree to plan in a state where she doesn’t even live.
Post # 18
Omg the nerve!!! Whether it’s you or your mother saying something, for the love of God DO not let her away with this!!! I hate entitlement! What an awful position to put your mom in. Geeze, someone needs to set this girl straight!!!! For the record I didn’t have a baby shower for either of my kids, if people wanted to gift me something it was appreciated!
Post # 19
HeatherD16: Stay out of it. This is between your brother, SIL, and your mom.
Post # 20
YES! Yes yes yes you should step in. Do not let your SIL bulldoze your mother like that.
Talking to your brother is a nice start, but honestly he married your SIL, so I’m not sure he’ll understand the problem? Maybe.
Most importantly, in my opinion, you should speak to your SIL. This would be my approach (email is my weapon of choice):
I think there has been some confusion about the resources available for your shower. We are so excited about this new baby and really would like to contribute to a celebration, however we are not in a financial position to host the event you are describing.
If your heart is set on a particular location, we’d be elated to provide some things like the cake and decorations. If you’re open to other locations, we might be able to help in other ways.
Let’s all get together and discuss what the realistic options are!
Sweet Love Forever In The Name Of Jesus,
My Brother-In-Law is like this- always going behind my sister’s back and asking us to pay for things that he thinks they should have. NO SIR.
And I have actually sent them a similarly-toned email while planning their wedding (on another topic), and I copied all of our parents on it so there was no room for “he said, she said.”
Call me bitchy- it resolved the issue ; )
Ooooh that kind of behavior makes me so mad!
Post # 21
LALaw: I love your answer! It gets to the point- short and sweet!
Post # 22
It stinks your SIL is acting princessy and that your mom is in a sticky situation… but your mom is a grown woman capable of talking for herself so I’d mind my own business. If SIL was asking YOU for shower help that would be a different story.
Post # 23
In this situation I would be very loud and clear that there will be no demands on a shower of any kind. This entitled wench doesn’t deserve one for her behavior. Your mom should buy a nice gift for the baby, because it’s not the baby’s fault that his mother is an ungrateful entitled b. Your mom should not be involved in any shower planning at this point . Let the SIL’s family deal with her attitude instead.
Post # 24
I think you should stay out of it. This is between your Mom and your Brother/SIL. I also think it’s manipulative for your mom to show you texts etc probably hoping you’ll deal with this so she doesn’t have to. I would be careful of turning into the family police officer…generally no one thanks you.