Should I get married?

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t think this is necessarily about your fiancee. This is about your growth and development. You are realizing there is a lot you have missed. If you don’t take the time to be on your own and find yourself and what else is out there, you will always regret it. If you don’t do this, you will regret it down the road and may get divorced. Cancel the wedding. This is not just cold feet. You have serious doubts. 

Post # 17
Member
735 posts
Busy bee

You’re not ready. 

Post # 18
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2020

I’m kind of stuck on the sense that you want him to feel jealous and insecure, and dangled the situation with the coworker over his head until he told you he wasn’t okay with it. That doesn’t sit well with me and doesn’t put you in a very good light, Bee.

It sounds to me like you’ve got some self-improvement and soul-searching to do, and it’s better that you do that unmarried and perhaps single altogether. Nothing wrong with that, just decide what’s best for yourself and make a plan and follow through.

Post # 19
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

I had a similar feeling when I was in college with my boyfriend back home. I just wanted to be single and have some freedom. I recommend sharing your feeling and taking a few weeks apart and see how you feel. Can you imagine spending your life with out him? If so it may be time to move on. You’re still young and if you’re unhappy now you will find someone where you just know it’s right 

Post # 20
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

You’re so young! Some people get married to their HS sweethearts and it just works. But most people don’t. Your brain hasn’t even stopped forming new connections. You aren’t completely the person you’ll be at 30 right now. 

A long standing established relationship is not suddenly going to become madly passionate and romantic. It just doesn’t get more firey over time on its own. It can stay romantic, or you can put a lot of effort in and see some probably moderate change.  Or you can admit that that’s not the DNA of this relationship and go off and find someone who is passionate and makes you feel passionate too. 

Also I agree with the bee who said the good relationships aren’t hugely hard. If you’re just not feeling it now that’s a horrible reason to get married. Get married bc the person you are with knows you and loves you and you know them and love them and together you make each their better people so even when you disagree you benefit from working through it, and you’re psyched to take this next step. 

24 is great. You can take risks at 24. You want to see the world? Want to decorate an apartment in a style only you picked out? That’s the kind of thing you can do at 24 if you don’t live with a boyfriend. I did it and loved it. If you long for it, then go for it. 

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