Post # 1
I have a big bridal party of 7 bridesmaids. Two of my bridesmaids are my fiance’s sisters. One sister I am very close with and really wanted her in the wedding. The other sister I barely talk to. I thought it would cause drama if I asked one sister and not the other so, reluctantly, I asked the other sister to be a bridesmaid. I left out my own step sister (who I would have rather had in my wedding) so that I could include my fiance’s sister.
Two days after I asked his sister to be a bridesmaid. She announces to the family that she has been cheating on her own husband. She was not at all apologetic about it (he is an AMAZING man) and the whole family is heart broken. Not to mention that since this has happened she has avoided all of us like the plague. Now I question whether I want someone with such a complete disregard for the marriage in my wedding. I would much rather include my step-sister anyway. At this point, is it too late to ask her to step down? Is that crossing the line? My fiance says he understands but I don’t want to cause tension with my future family either. Any advice?
Post # 3
How does your fiance’s family feel about her right now? I agree that she doesn’t sound like a person I would want to support me as I begin my new marriage. If your fiance’s family is already pretty pissed about the situation, I don’t think anyone would judge you if you asked her to step down. A lot of people think that when you ask someone to be a bridesmaid you are stuck with them, but when something this big happens I think you can make an exception. If I were you, I would explain that you and your fiance don’t feel comfortable with her being a bridesmaid considering the circumstances. Does she know that you are all upset with how she is acting? If not, you should probably explain to her that her behavior is not acceptable with how you hope to live your life. If you do decide to ask her to step down, I would wait a bit before asking your step-sister so it doesn’t look like you just wanted a reason to have her instead.
Post # 4
@pinkvalentine: The whole family is really upset with her. Everyone loves her husband and he is making every effort to make the relationship work. Unfortunatley, despite his efforts (which are above and beyond considering she is the one who cheated) she is being a total bitch to him. Everyone is being really supportive of him which is making her even more distant from all of us.
Thanks for the advice!
Post # 5
I would probably ask her to step down as well. Marriage is not a joke. And a bridesmaid is not only a friend, or a witness to your marriage. But she/he is supposed to stand by you during your years of marriage to remind you of your vows (that you should take seriously)! I don’t think I would want a woman like that to remind me of my vows when she can’t even honor her own. I especially would not want to take advice from her. I think it’s something you and your Fiance should do together though. If that’s at all possible.