(Closed) Should I gift the dress to avoid conflict/get a BM to wear the color I want?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do with my bridesmaids regarding payment for their dress/gifts?
    Make them pay for their own dress cuz its cute, only $60 & that's BM protocol anyway. : (117 votes)
    85 %
    Give them the option of buying/keeping it for $60 or just wearing it & giving it back to me 2 resell : (10 votes)
    7 %
    Pay for all the dresses as their gift and try to sell the Navy robes to another bride. : (4 votes)
    3 %
    Suck it up, pay for everything as gifts and hope they throw you a killer bachelorette party. : (7 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1473 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Stop feeling guilty. It is your wedding and she did agree to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I hated the color of the dress as well as the dress I wore for my cousin’s wedding. But his Fiance really wanted the dress and you know what? I coughed up the $230 and wore it because I agreed to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and it was not my wedding.

    I think you are being a tad sensitive. I mean, you did ask for her opinion. But if 5/6 girls are 100% okay, then go for it. Stop feeling bad about it and I mean really, it’s not like you’re asking her to spend $200+ on this dress. $60 is TOTALLY resonable so don’t wory about it. Just inform her that is the dress you chose.

    Post # 4
    Member
    85 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I voted A!  $60 is an amazing price for a bridesmaid dress and I think they should be thrilled at such a great option.  And it’s only one girl objecting, she can suck it up and go with the majority.

    I’m having the same problem with a passive-aggressive Bridesmaid or Best Man who says she’ll go with whatever I choose, but then will add “so even if I don’t like it, I don’t really have a choice.  So whatever.  Do what you want.”  *sigh*  Why do they feel the need to rain on the enthusiasm parade sometimes?  haha good luck!  🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    1473 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Oh and by the way, I LOVE the dress!

    Post # 6
    Member
    4193 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    Bridesmaid #6 doesn’t really how lucky she has it… $60! That’s so inexpensive for a bridesmaid dress. Look how pale the model is, who looks wonderful in it. 

    From other recent posts, looks like there’s always that one girl who isn’t happy. Oh well. I spent over $200 last time I was a bridesmaid, and wore the skirt of it once in 8 years. I would have been much happier with a $60 dress I wore once!

    Post # 7
    Member
    878 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    That’s SUPER cheap for a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and I think it’s is super cute!!! I would wear it. Yeah, basically ask her nicely to cooperate and tell her in a diplomatic way that if she doesn’t want to get a very reasonably priced dress then she can’t be a bridesmaid.

    Post # 8
    Member
    232 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012 - The Chapel of the Sir Christopher Wren Building, 2007 Legacy Hall

    (I voted option 1) Don’t feel guilty! You really can’t please everyone and you already have 5/6 on board. Just shake off her negativity and move forward! Good luck 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    4014 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Suck it up Bridesmaid #6!

    Gorgeous dress OP, its a stunner and that girl is crazy! She should at least try on the dress before she decides it going to “wash” her out!

    Post # 10
    Member
    585 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    if it was like 300$ maybe. but its $60. come on Bridesmaid or Best Man suck it up!!

    Post # 11
    Member
    46421 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think it is totally reasonable to have them pay $60 for their dreses. If they don’t love it they can sell or give it away after the wedding. You don’t have to take this on as your problem. Most women do not expect to LOVE a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress. They just expect to wear it for the bride’s sake.

    I would send them a final email letting them know that you have finalized your choice and giving them instructions where to order their dress.

    As for the difficult Bridesmaid or Best Man, I would leap on her own words with a positive spin instead of negative. “I’m glad you think the dreses are alright, and that you’re fine with my decision. I can’t wait till I can see you all together in the dress!”

    ps Note that the model is fair skinned and blonde. A little bronzer or blush and any complexion can be fine in that color.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    1101 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Whoaaaaaa. First of all, she needs to suck it up. I voted A. One of the known facts about being in a wedding, you will have to purchase a bridesmaid dress and no, you don’t get a say in it. If you are going to be too picky and worry about your looks, polititely decline. Otherwise let the bride have her way. And seriously, $60?! You can’t beat that. Don’t feel guilty and don’t give in to this divaaaa. lol Laughing

    Post # 13
    Member
    5662 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Ditto – suck it up whiney BM!

    Post # 14
    Member
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    There was another thread almost exactly like this recently.  It looks like the general consensus is that the BMs need to pay for whichever dress you as the bride chooses for them to wear.  

    Post # 15
    Member
    2363 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

    Im sorry, I’ve always been of the opinion that if you say yes to being a bridesmaid, you are agreeing to SHUT UP and wear what the bride wants you to (within reason, I suppose) because it’s her day, and you’re there to be a friend and to witness one of the most special days of her life. If that means wearing a paper sack because it somehow fits her theme, wear that paper sack with a smile and tell yourself it was practically free.

    Yes, sometimes we do pay for dresses we don’t really like, but its not about the dress, its about your friend, GETTING MARRIED. If you can’t handle it, don’t agree to be a bm. Seriously, that dress is classic, stylish, and even if the color isn’t “her” it’s $60. That is so reasonable. It would be different if it were like, $400, or if she was going to be 8 months pregnant and you wanted her to wear 5 inch stillettos.

    Sorry to get all preachy, I just get a little cranky when I hear about this kind of thing sometimes. I bought and wore a dress I wasnt totally comfortable with (because the way the bust of the dress was made, for a girl my height my chest needed to be at LEAST a cup size smaller), but all the other girls loved it. I shut up, put it on, smiled, didn’t say ONE WORD, and I still had a FABULOUS time at her wedding. I wouldn’t have it any other way because it made the bride happy. And that’s what I was there for.

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    1093 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    You can’t please everyone! $60 is a great price. I think Bridesmaid or Best Man6 needs to stop stressing you out!

    The topic ‘Should I gift the dress to avoid conflict/get a BM to wear the color I want?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors