(Closed) Should I gift the dress to avoid conflict/get a BM to wear the color I want?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do with my bridesmaids regarding payment for their dress/gifts?

    Make them pay for their own dress cuz its cute, only $60 & that's BM protocol anyway.

    Give them the option of buying/keeping it for $60 or just wearing it & giving it back to me 2 resell

    Pay for all the dresses as their gift and try to sell the Navy robes to another bride.

    Suck it up, pay for everything as gifts and hope they throw you a killer bachelorette party.

  • Post # 17
    Member
    583 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    tell ur difficult Bridesmaid or Best Man if she thinks she will be washed out to go to the tanning bed or get a spray tan. simple fix for a very pretty dress!

    Post # 18
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I voted number one. After you done a few weddings you realize it’s not about you and you will end up wearing anything in the brides colors and theme  60 dollars! I don’t think I’ve ever paid under hundred dollars for any of my bridesmaid dresses. I think overall the dresses are nice and she can suck it up and wear it. She gave you her opinion and you have to make the choice that is right for your wedding and all invovled. I never expect to wear my bridesmaid dresses again(in fact I laugh when brides say this to me) and with the exception of one I never have.

    Post # 19
    Member
    51 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I totally understand where you’re coming from. I feel overly sensitive about anything with the wedding that requires other people to buy/do things. :/

     

    On a side note…WHERE did you get those super cute robes for $25??? I haven’t found any decent robes for less than $60! 

     

     

    Post # 20
    Member
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    So…you asked for her opinion, she gave it to you, and you’re offended?

    Just go with the champagne if it’s what you want. But seriously. Stop over-thinking this. She’s just being honest, which you asked of her, and she definitely did NOT say anything offensive. She’s told you it’s OK to go with the champagne, so do it! : )

    Post # 21
    Member
    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    If that is the dress you want she can just suck it up. As long as the dress is flattering (which it’s univerally flattering) on a Bridesmaid or Best Man and she’s not going to embarass herself in the shape of a dress, I dont think BMs should complain.

    Post # 22
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’ve mentioned this before, but I think the bride should buy the dresses. If you don’t want to pay (which I don’t agree with), I think the BMs should at least get to help pick out their dresses. I never knew so many brides ask their BMs to buy their own dresses until joining weddingbee. I’ve only known two who did this (out of many brides I’ve known), and it was considered tacky by the bridal party, mutual friends, and myself. The Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses are essentially part of your decorations (as far as guests’ perception and pictures go), which is part of the wedding so the bride should cover the cost. I know the “norm” is different from one place/group to the next, but I always thought BMs dedicated their time, help, and support but not their pocketbooks. The bride and groom have planned for this cost because it is their wedding, BMs likely haven’t and all the costs can add up. The way I see it, my day, my way, I pay. 

    OP- I voted for option 4 because my BMs would be worth the $365 plus the gift to me. After all, they are giving up their time to help and support you. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Im going to disagree with this, only one wedding I have been in cover cost of dresses. Im the opposite, while its nice for bridesmaid to help plan its not their responsibility, showing up clean and dress is what is mainly required of them in addition to perhaps a shower, and more importantly moral support. The bride should keep the cost down. I think if you honestly cant afford its one thing, but when events happen in life, from birthdays, graduations, we end up spending money on our friends, so why should a wedding be any different. The only bees I heard say that the bride pays for the bridal party clothing are from the uk.

    Seriously what is with the bee and the word tacky lol.

    Post # 24
    Hostess
    11165 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I love that dress, so cute. For $60.00 I’ll buy that dress (and be in your wedding…I kid).

    Now to be fair champagne will wash out a fair number of complexions that is true. My colors are champagne and light pink and I opted for a light pink dress (wanted champagne) to accomodate everyone’s complexion, but that was my decision to make. You are the bride and by what I read you are being completely reasonable.

    It is one day, they can suck it up and wear a lovely and reasonably priced dress.

    Post # 25
    Member
    2067 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    The poll speaks for itself… and I love the suggestions 

    View original reply
    julies1949 gave about the final dress email and about spinning Bridesmaid or Best Man6’s words to be positive 🙂

    Post # 26
    Member
    721 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    She said she would stand with you for your wedding and that comes with wearing the super cute and super affordable dress you picked out.  She is the one being unreasonable, not you.

     

    ETA:  I think the color combo is lovely.  And honestly, how many bridesmaids REALLY wear their dresses again.  Sure it is a great goal to have, but I’ve been in 7 weddings…with some really cute (and some not so cute) dresses…they are all in my closet and never do I think on a night out “oooh I should wear that little number from so and so’s wedding”

    Post # 27
    Member
    7680 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I think champagne looks good on every skin tone.  My daughter has what she calls “freakishly pale skin” and she chose a champagne gown.  On the other hand, I tend to have an olive complexion and look bad in mint green and peach dresses.  I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man twice-guess what colors I had to wear?!  Yup-mint green and peach.  I didn’t even bat an eyelash at the bride.  BMs should just “suck it up”-especially for a $60.00 bargain!!  It might be a different story for a $300.00 dress-but $60.00, there’s no way that any Bridesmaid or Best Man should be giving you a hard time.  I don’t generally agree with this but maybe it is time to offer her an “out”.  Actually-I just read Jules1949 reply -PERFECT!

    Post # 28
    Member
    2067 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @KimmySumShuga:  PS… So sorry you’re getting this drama 🙁 You were SO excited for finally getting the dresses in the right sizes… I’m sorry that a Bridesmaid or Best Man is ruining that excitement for you 🙁

    Post # 29
    Member
    9816 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I think she’s being ridiculous… but lesson learned maybe? Don’t ask for opinions if you don’t want an honest response!

    That said, kudos on the dress choice. $60, universally flattering color.

    Post # 30
    Member
    439 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would just tell her that’s what you’ve picked, end of discussion. I mean, it’s $60! That’s so cheap! She’s lucky that you’ve found something so affordable. Unless you’ve told them they get to pick whatever dress in whatever colour they want, she should just suck it up.

    Post # 31
    Member
    73 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    If she likes the dress but not the color, couldn’t she have it dyed after the wedding so she could wear it again? It might also help to show her some pictures of lighter skinned girls in that color (I’ve seen it many times in magazines and it’s a really pretty combination, imo).

    The topic ‘Should I gift the dress to avoid conflict/get a BM to wear the color I want?’ is closed to new replies.

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